Finished THE WIRE so I’m moving on to the original gangster, OZ. In my head, Oz is where all the crooks from Law & Order and Homicide go when their episodes are over.

My comments will be mainly limited to documenting the wildly insane ways characters are maimed or killed.

Within a few minutes the very first episode of Oz relieved my younger self of whatever minuscule notions I might have had to do anything illegal whatsoever in my life. I saw that and was like “NOPE.”

S1E1: J. Jonah Jameson uses a cigarette lighter and a paper clip to brand a swastika onto a new prisoner’s butt (the guy’s second night).

S1E1: off screen but worth mentioning: another new prisoner was convicted of killing his elderly parents and eating them.

S1E1: dude is drugged unconscious, sprayed with lighter fluid, and set on fire.

S1E2: Walt’s dad from Lost is paralyzed after being thrown off a roof naked.

S1E2: dude gets his dick and fingers cut off before being stabbed to death.

S1E4: man is electrocuted in the electric chair but he lives. Side effect: god talks to him.

S1E4: dude’s face is burned in some kind of industrial kitchen appliance that looks like a giant waffle iron

S1E4: not violence but fucked up enough to mention: the male prison director and female prison guard are so depressed by an unjust death penalty execution that they get drunk and bang it out in a prison stairwell at the same time this dude gets the lethal injection.

S1E4: Eric Roberts confesses to murdering THIRTY-NINE people.

S1E4: Rita Moreno kicks a dude in the balls. Not really maiming but it’s still Rita Moreno kicking a guy in the balls.

S1E5: undercover cop is discovered hanged by an extension cord in the prison basketball court

S1E5: dude gets so high on opium that he thinks he’s being affectionate but in reality is accidentally strangling his lover to death

S1E6: Murderer in solitary gets Alzheimer’s; his son, also in for life, had his tongue cut out; his grandson, also in for life, has his baby die the day after birth, causing him to go insane and hallucinate his baby all over the prison.

S1E6: The Nazi from episode one was over his conquest, so he made the guy wear a confederate flag t-shirt so he’d get murdered. Instead, dude takes PCP and throws a chair through a glass window, partially blinding and hideously scarring the Nazi. All the inmates chant his name!

S1E6: you can’t kill a wise guy without it coming back on you, so to take out the head mafioso they put ground up glass into his food so it’ll cut up him guts over the course of months.

S1E7: everybody gives this dude the silent treatment so bad that he kills himself

S1E7: Death row inmate is allowed to choose the method of his execution. He chooses firing squad, first in the state since the 1800s. He’s kind of a hipster.

S1E7: Dude who got branded with a swastika in S1E1? He gets back at the Nazi by kicking him in the balls, clobbering him with a barbell weight, tying him up, and taking a shit in his mouth.

(Contd) While all this is going on, the other prisoners cheer like it’s a sporting event, chanting “Sieg Heil” mockingly while the Nazi gets shat on. Even in prison, all the gangs can unite in their hatred of nazis. Also the Nazi lost an eye somewhere, I think I missed that part.

S1E8: Anthony Michael Hall gets stabbed to death with a fork.

S1E8: RIOT! Assorted beatings, stabbings, destruction and fire.

S1E8: The rioting prisoners have turned their cell block into a little society with a council made of members from each racial/cultural gang, and they vote on decisions like “should we give the captured guards a bucket to shit in?”

By my count six main characters have been killed so far and it’s only an eight episode season. Oz is amazing.

S1E8: the tranquility of the rioters’ new society is disturbed when they run out of heroin and begin attacking each other to see who’s holding out.

S1E8: An insane man chases down an undercover cop and chops his head off with a machete.

S2E1: the sadistic governor orders the prison cops to invade the rioters’ society with tear gas and they just open fire with machine guns, killing six inmates, two hostages, and variously injuring more than thirty others. Just totally insane.

S2E1: because the cell block was completely destroyed by fire, gunshots, and various mayhem, the surviving rioters are moved into the prison’s general population, resulting in a wide variety of violence.

S2E1: Inmate gets shot in the balls. Dies.

S2E1: inmate tries to sexually assault another, gets his dick bitten off.

S2E2: not a death or anything, but worth noting that the poor bastard who got swastika-branded and raped and tortured and humiliated in the first season has now become so crazy and violent that no one will dare take the job to kill him, even for money.

S2E3: Anti-Semitic gang leaves a naked body hanging upside down in the basketball court with a racial slur carved into it. This is the second body found hanging in the basketball court in two seasons!

S2E4: One prisoner gropes another; the guy shoves him away but so hard that he falls backwards off a balcony and dies in a comically twisted pretzel shape on the level below.

S2E6: an inmate is brought in to the infirmary pissing blood. Turns out his candy bar was dosed with rat poison.

S2E6: an inmate falls in love with the beautiful infirmary doctor who saves his life from cancer, but she doesn’t like him. So he manipulates his simple-minded brother to find and kill the doctor’s husband on the outside.

S2E6: The poisoned guy from before was the mafia leader on the inside, so he takes revenge on his poisoner so as not to look weak. Unfortunately for him, his poisoner is the craziest motherfucker in HBO history, so this guy is beaten and raped and kicked out of the mob instead.

S2E6: Luis Guzman impales a dude with some kind of metal rod. It goes right out his back and through the wall behind him and out the other side. NO REASON.

S2E6: not violence but some good crazy: a prisoner called Agamemnon Busmalis AKA The Mole is pathologically compelled to dig secret escape tunnels. He says he treats each hole like a lady. “I never married. I could never find a woman who satisfies me the way she does.”

S2E7: the new Latino gang leader has displaced the old one because his skin’s too white. But he’s given a choice: cut out a Latino guard’s eyes and he can come back to the gang. But if he does it, the guards will kill him. If he doesn’t, his gang will kill him. (He does it).

S2E8: some nazis discover the tunnel I mentioned earlier and bully the old men who dug it to switch cells so the nazis can escape instead. The old guys acquiesce, but before the cell switch they loosen the supports so the tunnel caves in and kills the nazis.

S2E8: Some nazis are running around a Jewish cemetery vandalizing tombstones when a groundskeeper tries to stop them. They beat him to death with his own shovel. Fortunately, and perhaps ironically, they later die in a tunnel cave in. Too bad for them they didn’t have a shovel.

S2E8: a paroled priest who’d fondled a child can’t get a job or apt, so he comes back to Oz just to have a place to sleep. The Nazi gang nails his hands and feet to the floor, crucifixion style.

S2E8: to get revenge on his ex-slave who shat in his mouth, J Jonah Jameson hires Chris Meloni to seduce the guy, make him fall in love with him, then dumps him, then teams up with JJJ to break both the guy’s arms and legs.

S3E1: the guy who blinded the guard, he’s in solitary. But the other guards “forget” to feed him, so he has nothing to eat but communion wafers once a week and has to drink his own urine.

S3E1: my favorite. The guy who got his arms and legs broke healed up but didn’t cut his nails for two months. He files them into claws and goes all fucking Wolverine on the Nazi guard who set him up and fucking kills him. Then he cuts off the nails and goes about his business.

S3E2: The craziest asshole in Oz wants revenge on the mafia boss who ordered the murder of his only friend. But if he kills a wise guy, he gets killed. So how does he kill the mob guy secretly? He steals the blood of an AIDS patient and clandestinely infects his enemy. INSANE.

S3E3: an inmate confides to another that he murdered an entire family just for kicks. His friend rats on him. His gang swears revenge, but the other gangs are so outraged by the senseless murder of civilians that they decide to protect the rat and stab the shit out of the killer.

S3E3: the piggish emerald city director sleeps with a clingy guard and declines to date her again. She asks if it’s because she’s bad in bed, and his look says it all. She loses her mind, curses him out, and in revenge beats a prisoner in solitary so badly he gets brain damage.

S3E4: the jilted guard is fired for incompetence but sues the prison to get her job back, saying the guy sexually harassed her, and the inmates are happy to testify he forced himself on her. He didn’t, and the inmates are lying, but he’s such an asshole that nobody believes him.

S3E4: the guy who gouged out the guard’s eyes gets out of solitary for participating in Rita Moreno’s therapy program. But alas his gang needs him in the prison boxing tournament, so they take him off his meds in the hopes he goes crazy again and wins his fights.

S2 Addendum: forgot to mention that the simple minded guy whose inmate brother manipulated him into killing the prison doctor’s husband because he had a crush on her, he goes to prison too and is lured into a gang rape as revenge for all the things his brother’s done to everyone.

S3E4: Alvarez gouged out a guard’s eyes so his gang wouldn’t kill him for having too light skin. Then he goes to solitary where he has to drink his own piss. Then he gets out, is taken off his beds so he can box, but O’Reilly secretly drugs him so he loses to a gay inmate. (Cont)

S3E4: So now his gang wants to kill him for losing to a gay boxer, and it’s not his fault at all. Alvarez is in the running for grimmest storyline in this show.

S3E4: Richie is a rando inmate who was forced to confess to murdering an inmate he didn’t, lest be murdered himself. Luckily Richie manages to get that conviction overturned and gets off death row! Alas, a friend of the dead guy hides a razor in his mouth and cuts Richie’s throat

S3E5: the leader of the Christian gang (they don’t do violence, they just annoy people) reveals that his wife had an abortion without his knowledge so he killed the abortion doctor’s son. He’s beaten senseless with a Bible.

S3E5: McManus, the Emerald City manger, tells inmate Kenny his wife was found in bed with another man, both executed. Kenny expresses sorrow. When McManus leaves, he laughs with delight for, surprise, he arranged the hit because she forgot his birthday.

S3E5: Adebisi takes revenge on his gang for killing his friend by pouring hot cooking oil on the faces of two of them, leaving the third defenseless against him. Adebisi is the craziest motherfucker in all HBO history; there is no one worse than this guy.

S3E4 addendum: forgot to mention the boxer from earlier is in jail for cutting off his boyfriend’s head. We don’t see it on screen but it is actually the SECOND decapitation in the show so far, the first being Adibisi’s murder of a police officer with a machete.

S3E5: Russian mob guy gets sent to Oz for murdering eight people with a machine gun in the street in broad daylight, plus attempted murder on a few survivors. They give him a job in the prison library.

S3E5: J Jonah Jameson’s son is sent to jail where he is taken under the wing of Beecher, the man JJJ branded and tortured before Beecher shat on his face. Beecher helps get the kid off drugs and teaches him nazis are bad. JJJ’s lost his son, so he gives the kid a hot shot. Dead.

This was Beecher’s plan all along. Not only had JJJ raped and tortured him, he might be responsible for the “suicide” of Beecher’s wife, and made Chris Meloni seduce Beecher only to betray him and break all his limbs. His revenge was to manipulate JJJ into killing his own son.

S3E6: The Christian inmate who was helping Oreilly get drugs to dose fighters and fix the boxing matches can’t handle the guilt and needs to save his soul. He tells Oreilly he’s going to tell the warden, so Oreilly hires that new Russian to kill the Christian super fast. Dead.

S3E6: I can’t succinctly describe the devilishly circuitous plan Oreilly enacts to accomplish this but the result is the Russian kills another guy by stabbing him in the neck with his glasses. Which gets him sent to solitary for the rest of his life.

S3E6: Adibisi, having eliminated the rest of his gang, has taken to tying their old leader face down on the bed naked every night. Anything else is left to the imagination.

S3E7: the mafia boss who was injected HIV-infected blood has been moved to the AIDS ward where he’s written his memoirs. When word of this gets out, his former associates deem him a rat and hire his transvestite cellmate to drug his food and smother him to death with a pillow.

S3E8: Alvarez finally shanks one of the guys from his own gang who’s been trying to kill him. This unfortunately sends him back to solitary, where he’d been exiled before for gouging a guard’s eyes out and forced to drink his own piss. Alas.

S3E8: the woman on death row has become pregnant! But she wants to be executed anyway. She believes she is carrying the child of satan and that if it’s born it will rain fire upon the earth. She had similar feelings about her first child, who she drowned in a car in a lake.

S3E8: O’Reilly is caught dosing Hamid Khan’s water bottle so he’ll lose the championship boxing match to O’Reilly’s brother. But the guard lets him off because the would lead to a riot. Alas, his brother hits Hamid so hard he’s left brain dead, inflaming racial tensions anyway.

S3E8: Oreilly’s simple brother is aware enough to realize Hamid’s injury is the result of O’Reilly manipulating him into fighting people, so he beats the shit out of O’Reilly with his bare hands.

S3E8: J Jonah Jameson observes Adibisi’s overtures to some kind of race war. He endeavors to unite the disparate white gangs, but he doesn’t get full compliance on account of being a Nazi, because everybody hates Nazis. Also he runs the mail room and fucks up everybody’s porn.

S4E1: A cannibal in solitary has eaten himself to death.

S4E1: A new white inmate is viciously bullied to the point of madness by everyone. Sensing this opportunity to further inflame racial tension , Adibisi clandestinely leaves a gun in the man’s cell, which he uses to kill eight inmates before blowing his own brains out.

S4E2: for reasons far too complicated to explain, Herc from the wire is held down and forcibly injected with enough heroin to kill him. It’s all over a cell phone.

S4E2: “The Mole” has dug another tunnel and escapes! Alvarez follows him so he can go work on a movie or something.

S4E3: the new Latin inmate wants his rival Luis Guzman dead so he can take over the gang. He makes the old man who hears god do it, else he’ll kill him too. The old man stabs Guzman in the neck and enjoys killing so much that he asks for more hit jobs.

S4E3: Cedric from The Wire is an undercover narc pretending to be a Jamaican inmate. But the prisoners suspect the truth, so to prove he’s not a cop they make him snort so much heroin he overdoses and nearly dies.

S4E3: To alleviate the guilt he feels for his role in the death of JJJ’s son, Beecher hires a PI to track down JJJ’s surviving son and pays him to visit JJJ in Oz. JJJ suspects it’s a scheme to fuck with him, so he pays his son to kidnap Beecher’s young children. Alas.

S4E4: The lady on death row miscarries “under suspicious circumstances” but the governor doesn’t care, he wants his death penalty. She’s hanged, but not before revealing the man who got her pregnant was nazi leader J Jonah Jameson while he was delivering her mail.

S4E5: Beecher’s son’s severed hand is delivered in the mail. By the end of the episode it’s confirmed the kid’s dead.

S4E6: Chris Meloni confesses to a priest to murdering a bunch of dudes he slept with.

S4E6: O’Reilly takes the unusual step of killing someone himself, rather than manipulating others to do it. The reason is a new inmate has confessed to raping the prison doctor, whom O’Reilly thinks he loves and has killed for before. He bashes the guy’s head in with a dumbbell.

S4E7: the crazy female guard from before is starting fights with inmates on purpose so she can cuff them, take them away, and have sex with them.

S4E7: One if the inmates she’s banging is O’Reilly, for whom she’s willing to kill his Russian rival. He manages to get himself a bath. She catches him off guard by giving him a handjob (???) and then drops a hair dryer in the water, electrocuting him to death.

S4E7: this dude works in a fancy kitchen but gets yelled at one too many times by the head chef so he soaks him in boiling hot grease. This is the second hot grease related maiming so far!

S4E7: Kitchen grease guy manages to piss off two people who want to kill him for different reasons. They set upon him at the same time and argue about who gets to wack him, but he gets so scared he has a heart attack and dies before either of them can kill him.

S4E7: Beecher hires the Italian gang to use their connections to have JJJ’s son killed for killing his son. But he has second thoughts, wants this cycle of violence to end, knows it could result in his daughter being hurt. Alas, he’s too late, and JJJ Jr has been “disappeared.”

S4E?: Forgot the undercover cop runs into another cop, except this one is in jail for doing bad shit. He threatens to expose undercover cop if he doesn’t protect him. So when the drug gang makes undercover cop kill someone to prove himself, he pushes him down an elevator shaft.

S4E7: Dude called “Mondo” chops up another dude in a butcher shop and hangs his remains on hooks like those sides of beef Rocky exercises with.

S4E7: Adibisi conspires with the new unit director to slowly export all the non-Black inmates out of Emerald City. With the Italians and the Latinos our, Adibisi now controls all the drug trade. It was genius, now no one can start a war because there’s no soldiers.

S4E7: The new unit director let’s Adibisi do this because he believed having only one gang in EmCity means less violence. He’s fine with drugs, sex, trashing the place, just as long as there’s no bodies. Adibisi mocks the leader of the Muslims by comparing it to Islam’s paradise.

S4E7: A former Oz guard who the warden fired for being sympathetic to Adibisi’s race war returns to assassinate the white governor while he gives a speech on prison grounds, shooting him several times in the back in front of everybody.

S4E8: Dude beats up a man in a wheelchair. Damn.

S4E8: This guy chips away at his wall until he can punch through to the other side, grab his racist ass neighbor by the throat and strangle him to death.

S4E8: Rando inmate found slashed and stabbed in the laundry room. Nobody can figure out why. Not in a gang, didn’t owe anyone money, didn’t start any shit.

Turns out Chris Meloni is killing everyone who has sex with Beecher.

S4E8: Adibisi, the darth Vader of Oz and the craziest villain in all HBO drama history, finally falls. Stabbed to death.

S4E9: A Bill O’Reilly type anchor decides to spend the night in Oz as a ratings stunt. He chooses the most docile inmate, that guy with the mind of a five year old, but within the first five minutes is beaten nearly to death.

S4E10: Alvarez pisses off the last surviving member of his old gang, but the new leader forbids this dude from hurting him. So he asks a guy in another gang. He says no. Why? “I just don’t like you.” In response, a racial slur is hurled. In response to that, dude gets stabbed.

S4E10: O’Reilly’s affair with the female prison guard has blown up in his face. Scorned by his refusal to put out, she throws him in the Hole for phony reasons. In the Hole you’re left naked with nothing but a bucket. She goes in there armed and forces him to have sex with her.

S4E10: Old gangster dude shoots like half a dozen cops using just two handguns.

Emerald City divides inmates into groups based on race. The names are:

- Homeboys
- Latinos
- Muslims
- Aryans
- Bikers
- Irish
- Wiseguys
- Christians

There’s briefly an Asian group of refugees temporarily housed in the prison, but they get dragged into the shit super fast.

S3E10: Innocent Chinese refugee is murdered by pneumatic stapler to the face so as to frame a rival gang member and send him to solitary.

Homeboys, Wiseguys and Latinos share control of the drug trade, keeps violence down.

Aryans work the mail. They do the most raping.

Bikers are muscle for hire.

Muslims and Christians don’t feud but do annoy absolutely everyone.

Irish are basically floating white guys who’re down for whatever.

There’s also The Gays. Least violent gang, but they do get into the shit when necessary.

Lastly, the Others. These are the unafiliated whites, olds, disabled, crazies. The hufflepuffs basically.

S4E11: Good example of the chess in Oz. This guy wants to join the Muslim gang. They reject him, so he wants revenge. He goes to the Nazis and arranges a fake gang brawl in which he can “save” a Muslim, then get accepted by them, and thus close enough to murder their leader. Oof.

S4E11: Some new guy is sent up for throwing a baby in a dumpster. No idea why he did it.

S4E11: Chris Meloni breaks a guy’s neck while the dude is going down on him.

S4E12: Alvarez is forced to kill another of his fellow gang members, this time cutting his throat in full view of everyone.

S4E12: Sent back to solitary again, Alvarez smears his own shit on the walls and eats it.

S4E12: The prisoners are test subjects for an insane drug that ages you the number of years on your sentence. One guy wakes up with grey hair. Another one just drops dead.

S4E12: An inmate laments that other prisoners don’t respect him. So he shanks the unit manager (doesn’t die).

S4E12: In the shower a naked guy who calls himself Supreme Allah beats the shit out of a naked guy in a wheelchair.

S4E12: Method Man shanks a guy in the chest in front of his girlfriend. Damn.

S4E12: An inmate shanks a civilian visitor with a sharpened bed spring.

S4E13: Luke Perry is a televangelist sent up for fraud. When one of his flock converts to Catholicism, a another born-again dude steals the Chaplin’s crucifix and beats the shit out of the guy with it.

S3E13: a young, shrimpy wannabe Nazi is given the choice to kill a Muslim or be “fed” to the Homeboys gang. He stabs and kills the Muslim in the dining hall in front of everyone.

S4E14: That guard who went crazy and tried to kill the governor? He’s crazier and kills a guy in protective custody, which is supposed to be the safest place in Oz because that’s where they put ex cops. He got away with it by using a door stop to keep the guard out. A door stop.

S4E14: That wannabe Nazi got hypnotized by Luke Perry into confessing who ordered him to kill that Muslim guy. But the nazis get mad so he hangs himself. Alas.

S4E24: An Irish terrorist is in Oz pending deportation for killing some Brit, and the evangelical Christian gang threatens to beat the shit out of him if he doesn’t convert from Catholicism. He beats the shit out of them instead.

S4E14: That simple minded dude accidentally punched someone into a coma AGAIN

S4E15: Dude throws Peter Dinklage off a roof.

S4E14: that guy from before who complained that nobody liked him? For no reason at all he picks a fight in Rita Moreno’s drug rehab counseling and it turns into a fucking melee.

S4E15: Overheard in the solitary ward: “Shut the fuck up I’m trying to masturbate!”

S4E15: The Aryan/Muslim feud gets so intense that the Muslim leader, famous for being nonviolent, snaps and beats a Nazi so badly he’s unrecognizable.

It occurs to me that certain people might watch this old prison show in 2020 and call foul on the Nazi stuff as “SJW” pandering.

S4E15: one of the inmates is a pro baller so they organize a 2-on-2 tournament; inmates vs staff. Some asshole guards pick a fight with the baller so they have an excuse to fuck up his knee with a baton.

S4E15: one of the staff player is so good that a pro scout recruits him so he won’t be playing in the final game. But nobody told the prisoners, who sever his Achilles’ tendon. Alas.

S4E15: Method Man gets beaten, tied up, and strangled for being generally treacherous.

S4E15: evil female guard lies and reports that O’Reilly’s simple minded brother attacked her. She tells O’Reilly that she’ll take it back if he convinces his slow brother to have sex with her. O’Reilly refuses of course, and soon she falls down some stairs and breaks her pelvis.

S4E15: The inmate calling himself “Supreme Allah” is killed by having his food purposefully dosed with eggs, to which he was severely allergic. Oh, the vomit. So much vomit.

S4E15: Guy is crushed to death by an elevator car.

S4E15: Luke Perry is buried alive behind a brick wall.

S4E15: An inmate in solitary beats up the guard, takes his baton and radio, and announces that the isolation ward is now an African republic.

S4E15: Inmate dies when the guards tackle him and he falls on his own shank.

S4E15: An inmate kicks the shit out of two staffers with his hands literally tied behind his back.

S4E15: inmate stabs a guard in the neck trying to get at another inmate who got parole. Earlier in the series, the paroled prisoner bit the tip of that guy’s dick off.

S4E15: Muslim leader is just shanking nazis left and right.

I fucked up, some of those were episode S4E16.

S4E16: IRA dude builds a bomb but it fails to go off. But someone forgets to turn off the gas in the kitchen, so that explodes. BTW the stove is in front of that wall they buried Luke Perry in.

S5E1: Luke Perry’s evangelical reverend survived the explosion but is burned beyond recognition.

S5E1: Alvarez is finally out of solitary after like a year. He’s speaking in weird voices and talking a lot about his precious bodily fluids.

S5E1: Dude gets sent up for beating the shit out of his opposing softball players with a fucking bat.

S5E1: A bus carrying visitors to Oz — prisoners’ wives and mothers — crashes and everyone dies.

S5E2: I missed why but Alvarez asked one of his rivals to shank him in the shoulder for some subterfuge purpose but the guy is an asshole so he stabs Alvarez almost in the heart.

So far I think Alvarez is definitely winning for most-shat-on character.

S5E2: Dude gets stabbed in the neck with a ballpoint pen. Lives!

S5E2: Dude ties up a woman in a body bag and throws her into the sea.

S5E2: Aryans vs Italians. One guy gets shanked and lives. Another guy appears to have a piece of his leg literally bitten off.

S5E2: Oh man. Dude sees a vision of Luke Perry telling him to kill a couple guys. He tried but instead he got choked with some kinda uneven barbell and his neck snapped. But the guy who killed him is then himself haunted by Luke’s ghost (even though his character aint dead).

S5E3: The violence on this show is so amazing that I caught myself almost not bothering to note a guy gunning down four people in a fast food parking lot because it seemed too mundane and yet that’s four people dead!

S5E3: The son of a former prison mafia boss wants to go to war against the Aryans, but the other Sicilians won’t move on his orders because he was raped by one of the Homeboys and committed for two years. So he goes to war on his own. Sexually assaulted again, committed again.

S5E3: Luke Perry has appeared as a ghost in this thing at least three times. This time he’s asking a biker to kill the Aryan who buried him in the wall, which the biker tries to do by impaling him with a crucifix.

S5E3: One of the craziest things yet: Luke Perry’s evangelical preacher who was hideously burned all over his body and unable to move or speak, has disappeared from the infirmary. Vanished without a trace.

S5E4: a guy tries to shank a guy in the shower but slips and gets his head bashed in on the tiles.

S5E4: a prisoner throws a cup of blood, piss, and shit into the face of a guard.

S5E4: the prison doctor is trying to help an injured inmate but he repeatedly tries to fondle her so she beats the shit out of him.

S5E4: the Aryans are so ferociously determined to rape a new inmate who’s friends with Beecher that Beecher makes a deal with the Sicilians, who hate the Aryans, to protect his friend. This results in a MASSIVE brawl that gets the whole prison locked down.

S5E4: Not violence but weird: it turns out O’Reilly is an old school breakdancer.

S5E4: O’Reilly and his brother shank a guy to death because someone told them he overheard someone else saying that guy was going to rape their mom. I’m not actually sure it wasn’t a lie to make them do it for some more complex reason.

S5E4: the Aryans gang up on a guy and slice him to death with box cutters. They didn’t even really have a problem with him, they just knew it would piss off a guy they hate.

There’s two main Aryans in Oz. One is J Jonah Jameson. The other is Robson, who’s like JJJ’s Salacious Crumb. Robson is arguably a bigger asshole and goes out of his way to just fuck with people constantly. It’s important to know because he gets maybe the worst blowback later.

S5E5: The Muslim leader is famous for his nonviolence but when he’s assigned to “save” a hopeless fuckup inmate who aggravates everyone, his patience is exhausted and he loses his mind and beats the shit out of him.

S5E5: The old man prisoner who talks to god got the winning lottery numbers and asked a guard to buy him the ticket. When the numbers win, the guard claims the money for himself without a word.

S5E5: Inmate’s brother-in-law comes to visit him. Inmate smashes his brother-in-law’s face into a table like half a dozen times. Thrown in the Hole.

S5E6: Robson’s teeth aren’t so fucked up that the other nazis make fun of him so bad that he has to go see the prison dentist, who’s Arabic. The doctor is awesome and makes fun of him too, so Robson goes even more racist on him. This is important for later.

S5E6: The treatment for Robson’s mouth is to get a gum tissue graft from a cadaver. The Arab dentist fucks with Robson so bad by gassing him and doing the surgery while telling him he might be getting the gums of someone who’s black or Jewish or gay. Robson loses his mind.

S5E6: An inmate gets his whole fucking arm chopped off.

S5E6: The slow witted, brain damaged guy who talks like a high pitches five year old is given a sock puppet with which he discovers he can speak in a deep voice with eloquent language.

S5E6: someone doses an inmate’s food with so much LSD that he’s left completely braindead.

S5E6: The warden tells Rita Moreno that he’s not gonna do anything about that mafia guy getting gang raped because in Oz “rape has a leveling effect” that he compares to Darwinism, and says the ordeal demoralized the mafia guy such that he didn’t become an even worse criminal.

S5E6: This episode has act breaks that take the form of musical-like performances inside a glass cell and one guy sings Tori Amos deep cut “Leather.” That’s not violence or crazy but it seemed worth mentioning.

S5E6: The prison priest refuses to let the nazi evangelical who exploded Luke Perry become a catholic, so he lies and says the priest molested him and pays someone to burn down the priest’s house with him in it. Lives!

S5E6: Beecher’s friend’s son is sent up for raping a woman. Beecher tries to protect him from J Jonah Jameson, who wants to enslave him. But when he finds out Beecher used to be “owned” by JJJ, he disrespects him in front of everyone. Angered by this, Beecher let’s Jonah have him

S5E6: A guard smashes an inmate’s face into some dog shit on the floor. The inmates have been training guide dogs for the blind. But this one trained his dog to attack and it bites the fuck out of the guard.

S5E7: The dentist quits but before he leaves he gives a note to a guard that says to spread a rumor that Robson’s gum transplant came from a black man, resulting in a humiliating spectacle in the cafeteria. Robson tried to kill the dentist but the dentist breaks his teeth!

S5E7: J Jonah Jameson is Robson’s friend and feels bad so he consults with the head nazi outside Oz who advises him that purity is purity so Robson’s out of the aryan brotherhood. The Arabic dentist did more to fuck up a nazi than any other entity in Oz. BUT THERE’S MORE.

S5E7: prisoner dies trying to escape. Electric fence.

S5E8: So dejected is Robson that his nazi brothers have exiled him for getting tissue transplanted from a black man, he breaks the Nazi drug code by buying heroin to numb the pain of CUTTING HIS GUMS OUT WITH A RAZOR TIED TO A PENCIL

S5E8: Alvarez is up for parole, but the board points out since being in Oz he’s cut his own face, beaten a guard half to death, escaped, cut out the eyes of another guard, and was involved in the deaths of at least two inmates, so Alvarez beats the shit out of that guy too.

S5E8: Biker buries a man in the ground up to his head and decapitates him by driving a motorcycle over his head. This is the third decapitation in the series so far.

S5E8: the guard who stole that inmate’s lottery winnings comes back out of guilt but sadly he’s too late for the inmate’s sick grandson died earlier that day. Not violence but another great example of OZ ANGUISH.

S5E8: Augustus Hill, the iconic prisoner-in-a-wheelchair, is stabbed to death when he throws himself between an assassin and his mentor.

S6E1: That insane female guard is still around. She runs solitary and makes the inmates have sex with her for favors like phone calls. When their disciplinary review comes up, she tells the authorities they’re still too dangerous to go back into gen-pop, so she can keep bangin’.

S6E1: Augustus died but he still narrates the show and talks to the camera. But in this final season he has guests; dead characters from previous seasons. Lucky for you I’ve been keeping track!

S6E1: the homicidal evangelical now claims to be possessed by satan and appears to switch back and forth between personalities.

S6E1: Beecher ratted out J Jonah Jameson for those rapes so he offered to “upgrade” his current sex slave to proper nazi in exchange for him murdering Beecher’s visiting dad, whom the Nazi shanks at least half a dozen times. Now Beecher’s wife, son, and father have been murdered.

S6E2: toxic chemicals in the paint cause everyone in solitary to get irreversibly sick. Some of them get severe lung damage, incredible diarrhea, even insanity. The warden tries to cover it up.

S6E2: Not violence but good crazy: Maxim magazine shoots a fashion spread with all the death row inmates. Shockingly it goes badly when the Satan-possessed evangelical is murdered by biker who electrocutes him by stuffing a massive photography bulb down his throat.

S6E2: someone gets an eye pulled out.

S6E2: Robson gets...honestly I can’t even say this one.

S6E2: Prisoner gets throat slit in his hospital bed. Nobody cares that he died because he pissed off everyone. No revenge.

S6E2: New inmate sent up for firing a gun in his high school. He shot the he ceiling and killed another student on the next floor up. 18 year sentence.

S6E2: the basketball playing guard gets revenge on the inmate he thinks ordered his Achilles’ tendon cut by cutting BOTH of that guy’s.

S6E2: guards lock a prisoner in a cell and blast him with a fire hose.

S6E4: The Muslim leader Kareem Saïd is gunned down by a random visitor who somehow snuck a gun into Oz. He was one of the best characters on the show.

S6E4: Chris Meloni breaks man’s neck while the man goes down on him. This has all become a blur but I’m pretty sure he did this once before upthread.

S6E4: One is the craziest bikers I’ve been telling you about turns out to be a rich kid who dropped out of Harvard and suffers from extreme delusions and one of them is that he’s a tough guy biker. Amazing.

Like for several seasons he’s been this tattooed homicidal racist hardcore criminal and we find out in the end that was just an elaborate delusion he was having. This show is 20 years old and to this day no one has anything on it when it comes to TWIST

S6E4: On top of everything else he’s been through, Alvarez finds out his wife is fucking his best friend.

S6E4: Robson gets revenge on his new aryan “owner” by persuading him to try breath play, resulting in him dying by Robson’s hand via hanging. When the body is discovered by a guard and appears to be a suicide, the guard says, “Wow, one of you guys finally lynched YOURSELVES.”

I wish Oz was on now because I’d love to see nazi twitter complain about how the story “unfairly” stacks the deck against the aryan prisoners because of SJW politics or whatever stupid bullshit they believe.

S6E5: The insane, delusional biker guy believes Satan jumped out of the guy he killed and into him. He wakes up bleeding from his palms and head, like Jesus. Not a scam, he’s actually sweating blood, a real medical condition according to the prison doctor.

S6E5: Beecher got paroled! But Chris Meloni misses him so he BEGS him to mule some medical narcotics to help his sick wife but then calls the cops to set Beecher up so he’ll violate parole and get sent back to Oz!!!

S6E6: the guy who got both his Achilles’ tendons sliced? He got drugged and suffocated in the prison hospital by an old nurse who’s been in Oz for decades. Maybe she’s been murdering prisoners for years.

S6E6: dude gets run over by a car thirty-seven times.

S6E6: the mentally handicapped guy I’ve mentioned many times is to be put to death by electric chair. It’s unjust, especially given his condition, and all the prisoners put aside their beefs and unite in closing themselves in their cells and banging the walls in protest/honor.

S6E6: The condemned himself does not actually understand what’s happening to him. Even strapped into the chair, he’s still incapable of recognizing he’s about to die. At the last second, the Supreme Court granted a stay given the legal challenges with respect to his condition.

S6E7: dude’s marijuana factory gets raided by the cops so he runs into the growing room or whatever and literally tries to eat all of it

S6E7: pot guy’s drugs make too much money so the Wiseguys hold him down in front of a steam pipe and melt his face off.

S6E7: Btw this is the penultimate episode and Luke Perry is still missing. Last seen burned beyond recognition after the wall he was buried behind exploded and recovering in the prison hospital ward, he simply vanished.

S6E7: the man who shot Kareem is himself sent to Oz where he’s assigned a cell with Omar, a violent inmate who worshipped Kareem. He intends to kill this guy, but it turns out that’s exactly what the guy wants. In fact he nags Omar to kill him. He’s totally insane.

All the guy can talk about is the heat death of the universe. Omar’s so freaked, he can’t do it. He goes to McManus for help, but McManus doesn’t believe him and tells poor Omar to go fuck himself. Boy who cried wolf! So this crazy dude kills Omar so he’ll get the death penalty.

S6E7: Over the course of the series the sadistic racist and rapist Robson has had his dick bitten off, been shanked in the guts, beaten senseless, cut out his own gums, made a sex slave himself, and, finally, in this episode, contracts HIV, likely from one of his many victims.

S6E7: O’Reilly’s dad kills someone by using some kind of crane to drop a car on him.

S6E7: Everyone who takes the part of Macbeth in the prison production ends up dead.

S6E7: Last minute Bobby Cannavale appearance! He plays an outrageously flamboyant “nightclub owner” who’s sent to Oz for throwing acid in a drag queen’s face.

S6E7: The warden himself is stabbed to death in his own office.