Why did I bother emailing my dad evidence that the US press is lying about China when I had little faith he wouldn't do exactly as he's doing now: willfully miss the point? What good is literacy without comprehension, i.e. the ability to fucking think?

How stupid do you have to be to think that I want you to read an article as though it's stating fact when the very subject line of the email says how it's lying and distorting? "The article you sent me said..." and I said it's lying! My mind is literally fucking blown by this.

And I'd sent him this a week ago which addresses some of the shit I was showing him in the Associated Press's lies, but of course, he hasn't read it yet, which is fine, but then, shut up? https://mronline.org/2020/03/05/yellow-caking-an-epidemic/?fbclid=IwAR1-m-BOzUEJHCJVAuhkf7u0xZcKUyxdkXzW2FJg5iUDl8r4oHEWCauUO-g

I'm just so fucking exhausted of him thinking his ignorance is equal to any amount of studying, which I admit I haven't even done a lot of, just enough to know bullshit when I see it. Am I obligated to do the homework for someone who has no interest?

I tried coming out to him as non-binary 2-3 years ago, when I hadn't yet accepted that I was a woman, and again it was the same fake neutral posing-the-(rhetorical)-question-as-a-curious-intellectual draining, exhausting shit.

He sleeps at night figuring I "read it somewhere" no matter the topic. "How do you know what you're reading is truer than what I'm reading?" You're gonna two-sides me when you're the one who only reads one? It's frustrating as fuck. I wish I could get out from this madhouse.

Not to mention not all of it is from reading. When it comes to transmisogyny that's my life fucking experiences that I draw from with or without a book. Books sometimes just help give a vocabulary and glossary of terms to what I've experienced.

But like, the way it's always "read it somewhere" is just him deciding to put it less harshly than calling me a "conspiracy theorist" or "extremist." He's not clever. I fucking see the gaslighting.

Also despite him understanding the absurdity of me asking him to prove that santa claus isn't real he doesn't recognize the countless times he does the goddamn equivalent when it comes to defending other nations from us lies

He's able to recognize that the burden of proof isn't on proving that something didn't happen, but falls on the person making a claim. Yet, bc he's such a rabid orientalist, he still demands to be shown how santa claus isn't real, and believes what he hears as long as cnn said it

And I'm not just saying he understands. He's atheist, and when I say "prove to me santa claus isn't real," he pauses, and I know he sees my point, because he'll say "I get what you're saying, it's like asking me to prove that god isn't real" so he fucking gets it.

Sorry for the rambling idk what purpose this thread serves other than to vent. I'm just tired of the condescension and him assuming he knows more than me, even when it's something I directly experience.

I'm just gonna stop making an effort to educate him. You can't teach the unwilling, and I've given him enough to think about if he ever decides to stop being a dumbass.

Through all the emotional and verbal abuse, I've tried to act in good faith, figuring maybe he's insecure that I'm reading things he can't find & wants exposure to what I've been exposed to but deep down I knew he wanted the relief of seeing it so he can find a ways to dismiss it

I thought maybe it was an insecurity where, truth be told, he recognizes that I know something he doesn't, along the lines of his competitiveness, and he wanted to catch up. As I suspected, the truth is that it only bothered him bc it was unknown https://twitter.com/daniellesb_/status/1216246942386122757

and now that I've started sharing with him the stuff I find, he'll sleep much more peacefully because he found a way, which he was always committed to, to question and dismiss it.

hOw dO yOu kNoW iT's AnY mOrE tRuE? (what he means: I'll believe what I want to believe)