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really wish that in the ongoing erasure of homosexuality i.e. same-sex sexuality we didn't just talk about the importance of the "sex" part (i.e. the mechanics of sexual dimorphism) but also the importance of the "homo" or "same"...
i am only interested in other ppl who are female BECAUSE i am female. the sameness is an inextricable requirement of my sexuality. because i know my own body & am grounded in my own sexual responses i cannot accept substitutes or facsimiles that imitate what i have...
in order for a lesbian to accept male partners she has to profoundly dissociate not only from the criteria that constitutes the category of "woman" but who she is, what her own body is- she has to ignore the dissimilarity between herself & partner thru ignoring herself...
as a lesbian w/a history of gender dysphoria i can no longer accept dissociation from my own body. i cannot have a male partner & believe "she" or "they" are the same as me w/out divorcing my body & mind, w/out cleaving my sense of reality & violating what intimacy requires...
it's telling that it's women who are asked to do this kind of self-negation & self-violation in the name of sexual acceptance. even gay men berated for their "transphobic sexual preferences" aren't quite asked to do this...
sorry, but the full expression of my sexuality requires body and mind wholeness! i refuse to sever that for anyone. to ask that of lesbians is uniquely traumatizing given our tenuous relationship w/our bodies & ppl who demand it absolutely know. fuck that
