Hello to the small following I have! I’m gonna go on a rant here cause I don’t want to go to my best friend and risk dampening her excitement, and I doubt anyone following cares. Minus one person. So y’all are getting the brunt of this cause I need to get it off my chest. 1/?

2 So. I found out today a friend and his gf got engaged today. Congrats to them. Truly I’m glad they’re happy. But that brings me to my rant and current ugly crying face. I feel incredibly fucking lonely. And it’s not the lonely being around people fix. It’s that deep seated

3 Lonely. I’m sure you know the one I’m talking about. The one that you feel even in a crowded room. Yeah. That one. Why am I feeling it? Cause my best friend is dating a guy, engaged kind of. ANOTHER best friend is FUCKING MARRIED. Another friend has someone I think she’s

4 I think she’s married to, if not they’ve been dating for idk how many years. I have a cousin whose a couple or so years younger than me who HAS A CHILD AND WITH THE BABY DADDY. Yeah I said that. And yours truly is single af. Like I get WHY but that doesn’t stop me from asking

5 why. I KNOW I’m having to work through shit an ex did to me. And other shit. But try telling that to the other half of me. I’ve made leaps and BOUNDS on my own mental health. I’ve been doing pretty damn well despite depression. But that’s besides the point. I keep asking myself

6 “when is it my turn? Will I ever find someone? Am I going to be alone forever?” I’m happy for all of Ik the people who’re happy and found someone, but I’m still envious as fuck. And yeah, I know, green doesn’t look good on me. And yet here I am. Green. I’m an ugly crying MESS

7 cause I keep asking myself those questions. I feel like I won’t ever find someone. I also keep asking “am I weird? Will anyone ever accept me?” Ya know. The same questions probably a lot f LGBTQ+ members have asked. I feel frustrated with myself, even though I am who I am and

8 there’s NOTHING wrong with being who I am. This thread has gone on long enough. I guess I’ll end my rant here. If anyone actually made it this far, congrats? What do you want a medal? It just means you have seen me at a low. Anyway...ending this thread now. Bye.