TW: Depression / Suicide Ideaiton.

As someone who has lost family to suicide and also has spent nearly half of their life dealing with chronic depression and suicide ideation, I want to send love to anyone struggling right now.

If no one else gets it, I do.

Over the years, I've learned how to cope with depression and how to talk myself into staying here when everything inside me wants the opposite.

Right now is particularly difficult because a lot of the ways many of us have learned to cope involves face to face and interpersonal relationship. Whether it's going spending time with friends and/or family, going out for a self care day, going to the gym, etc.

A lot of our go to ways of coping and holding on no longer exist and I want you to know that I feel you, I see you and that I'm sorry. It's ROUGH.

Reaching out is even harder and even more discouraged as well, because right now more than ever, we're all aware that people "have problems of their own."

Yes, everyone is going through it right now but it doesn't take away from the fact that this is a huge adjustment and you're learning how to cope in a world you're not used to.

It's okay to be frustrated, sad or even discouraged.

I too have felt very discouraged from reaching out and have had trouble being honest about how I feel during all of this. The ways I used to cope temporarily don't exist and learning new ways to do so has been hard.

I've been on edge for a minute now and have picked up the phone to talk to friends and family and instead of being real about where I'm at, I've tried to make them feel better because we're all going through it.

One thing to remember though is that on your journey of loving, caring and being compassionate towards others right now, don't forget to be compassionate towards yourself. You deserve that too.

And I don't have any grand advice because I'm going through it myself, but I'll encourage you to do this: Please take care of yourself. Please be patient with yourself when you're going through those things / feeling the heaviness of life. And please keep reaching out.

I'm taking care of myself by not responding to every text, email, phone call, request to do something or DM.

I'm taking care of myself by talking to a therapist once a week via telemedicine.

I'm taking care of myself about not feeling guilty about saying "no."

I'm taking care of myself by trying to create new traditions and finding new ways to connect with people that I love.

I'm taking care of myself by sleeping whenever I get the opportunity and not feeling guilty about not always creating or wanting to work.

I'm learning how to give myself time and space to just BE in the midst of all of this and I hope you are as well.

I'm so glad you're still here with us and if nothing else know that it won't always be like this.. I promise.

If you're reading this, set aside time this week to do something nice for yourself (whether it's making a nice meal, binging a show taking a bubble bath, etc) and don't feel bad about it.

You deserve that xo.

I promise you that there's someone out there that's tinking about you. Reach out to the people that you love and that ones that love you during this time. I'm sure they would love to love you where ever you are, however they can.

Y'all stay up. We're gonna get through this, I promise.

Also, if someone is on your mind reach out to them. Let them know that you're thinking of them. If they're awesome, let them know you think they're awesome. If you're praying for, let them know you're praying for them. If you love them, let them know you love them.

We could ALL use a little extra love right now any of us have to give. xo