Read on Twitter
Buckle up, nerds, we're gonna talk about MAIL. https://twitter.com/JurisPettiness/status/1250504919909650435
So when we're talking about mail you can argue whether the earliest forms of it--rulers distributing their decrees--is a true predecessor of today's system but I'm gonna go ahead and say it is.
SO the earliest known system of mail couriers goes back to 2400 BCE in EGYPT.
SO the earliest known system of mail couriers goes back to 2400 BCE in EGYPT.
The oldest surviving piece of mail we have is from ~255 BCE, also from Egypt.
We have mail older than jesus. Ergo, mail is god.
I don't make the rules.
We have mail older than jesus. Ergo, mail is god.
I don't make the rules.
Anyway, we're gonna fast forward now and talk about the USPS but I just wanted to let you know that mail is old as shit and it is wild that for thousands of years we have 1) trusted total strangers to take messages and things places for us and it has 2) (mostly) worked
So Ben Franklin, America's Grandmother, was the first Postmaster General when the USPS was created in July 1775. Before that he was one of two joint postmasters for the colonies where he cut delivery time between NYC and Philly in half because Granny Franklin gets it done.
And, of course, by "Granny Franklin gets it done" I mean: Ben Franklin realized that using relay teams of wagons would let them travel faster.
Anyway Franklin gets canned in 1774 by the British for trying to overthrow them or w/e but fuck King George, we're starting the USPS.
Anyway Franklin gets canned in 1774 by the British for trying to overthrow them or w/e but fuck King George, we're starting the USPS.
Okay, not technically, because the USPS isn't formed until 1971 and the United States Post Office Department isn't formed until 1792 but that's not the point.
I'll spare you the full history of the Postal Service and skip to the fun stuff.
For instance: Andrew Jackson, President and noted trash human, put his Postmaster General in his Cabinet and the Postmaster General was, from 1829-1971, in the Presidential Line of Succession.
For instance: Andrew Jackson, President and noted trash human, put his Postmaster General in his Cabinet and the Postmaster General was, from 1829-1971, in the Presidential Line of Succession.
Another fun fact about the Postmaster General: they are paid more money than the Vice President.
Anyway, back to mail. So mid 1800s there was a lot of mailing going on and it was no longer feasible to sort all of the mail at hubs before sending it out. It would just take way too long.
So, cool kids that they were, they started using Railway Post Office's to sort en route
So, cool kids that they were, they started using Railway Post Office's to sort en route
You had to be the best of the best to work in the RPO. You had to be able to sort 600 pieces of mail in an hour, you had to get a 97% on the civil service exam.
These were mail's badboys.
They also sometimes died in horrible train accidents or robberies. Badboys nonetheless.
These were mail's badboys.
They also sometimes died in horrible train accidents or robberies. Badboys nonetheless.
It's also around this same time that it became mandatory for you to prepay for your mail delivery because the Postal Department was sick of tired of cheapos not paying for their mail and then them having to deal with the difficulty and expense of returning to sender.
In the 1930's the Postal Department also oversaw the shipment of gold from NYC and the Philadelphia mint to Fort Knox. It took months. They used decoy trains. They were under heavy armed guard by the Secret Service and the Army.
What else did they do in the '30's, you ask?
Well in Greenwood Lake, NY someone launched rockets with mail across a frozen lake toward Hewitt, NJ. They didn't make it.
Don't worry though, the Hewitt postmaster went out on the4 ice and dragged the mail the rest of the way.
Well in Greenwood Lake, NY someone launched rockets with mail across a frozen lake toward Hewitt, NJ. They didn't make it.
Don't worry though, the Hewitt postmaster went out on the4 ice and dragged the mail the rest of the way.
Maybe right about now you're thinking to yourself: wow that's crazy! they'd never sanction that!
And you'd be right and wrong. That one wasn't really official, but give 'em 20 years and in 1959 they launched a missile with 3000 letters on it.
And you'd be right and wrong. That one wasn't really official, but give 'em 20 years and in 1959 they launched a missile with 3000 letters on it.
Oh and did I mention said 1959 missile was launched from a submarine?
Unfortunately, some cowards decided that launching missiles between NY and CA was maybe not the best idea in the world and the idea was ultimately scrapped.
Plz make me postmaster general and I promise to bring it back.
Plz make me postmaster general and I promise to bring it back.
Let's talk a little more mail logistics though. So the postal service delivers hundreds of millions of pieces of mail a day.
Sometimes people, like me, have terrible handwriting.
Sometimes undeliverable mail lacked a return address.
Enter: The Dead Letter Office
Sometimes people, like me, have terrible handwriting.
Sometimes undeliverable mail lacked a return address.
Enter: The Dead Letter Office
The point of a Dead Letter Office is to figure out where the hell these things are actually supposed to go.
That's right. The postal service loves you and they dedicated offices to solving your problems.
That's right. The postal service loves you and they dedicated offices to solving your problems.
Fun fact about these offices: in the 1860s all the men were dying in battle or whatever so it was mostly run by women.
Until the 1920's there was only one dead letter office in D.C. dedicated to sorting out all the dumb bullshit people did with mail.
Until the 1920's there was only one dead letter office in D.C. dedicated to sorting out all the dumb bullshit people did with mail.
And these people were (and continue to be) pretty good at sorting out the problems.
That said, if they can't fix your mistake and you were mailing something valuable, it's gonna get auctioned off.** Be better at writing addresses, man.
**Unless it's guns or porn
That said, if they can't fix your mistake and you were mailing something valuable, it's gonna get auctioned off.** Be better at writing addresses, man.
**Unless it's guns or porn
The Dead Letter Office also used to have its own museum but it was, sadly, closed and its holdings distributed to various other institutions.
Final fun fact of the night: the USPS still delivers mail by mule to the Havasupai at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
I know this thread has been all over the place, I'm just trying to convince you all that mail and the postal service is cool.
Tell your representatives you want mail.
Tell your representatives you want mail.
