So much of how we think about charity positions us above others, it's a vertical relationship and we're either trying to pull them up to where we are or make their lower circumstance more comfortable.

We're middle class, helping lower class. It is our responsibility to help the less fortunate. We are thankful for our blessings, as if the much that we have is evidence of God's good favour.

I'm uncomfortable with the way that we talk about blessings, particularly because so much of what we think of as blessings are the result of exploitation.

I am blessed to have this house, which exists on land taken from the Mississauga people in what could charitably be called a swindle. I am blessed to have a fridge full of vegetables, which were picked by migrant farm workers who have few if any protections.

I am blessed to have clothing, made by textile workers in appalling conditions. My partner's income comes from a bank, and I don't need to tell you how they prey on the poor. All these things we call blessings are paid for by others.

So I wonder, what would it mean to give thanks for these blessings if I could see the cost that these things extract?

Would I still feel blessed?

What we should be thinking about, instead of charity, is solidarity. Forming horizontal relationships with the people that we are trying to help. And instead of trying to draw them into settler colonialism, pushing back against it to make room for them outside of it.

That may mean that you structure your board or guiding team so that it reflects the people you are working with. That may mean changing how you work or what your priorities are. That could mean rethinking what you donate to.