Well, you can shit in one hand, and I'll shit in the other, and see which gets filled first.

Hang on. That's not right.

A bird shits in my hand and I shit in a bush and we'll see which gets filled first.

Nope, damn it.

If a bear shits in my hand and nobody is around to hear it do I make a wish?

Does a bear shit in a wish?

A wish in hand is worth shit in a bush.

This is tough. It's tough to communicate.

Well you can shit on a bear and shit on a bird, and see whose around to hear it.

If a tree falls and nobody around to hear it, does it take a shit?