Hi, I'm a super crappy junior consultant. Thanks for hiring my company! In this kickoff meeting I'll be reviewing your infrastructure.

What complete moron designed this nonsense? Oh, it was you? Uh oh.

Why didn't you use this managed service that was just released six weeks ago to build your app back in 2012?

Okay, I've drawn a better architecture for you on the whiteboard. All you have to do now is turn your site off for 18 months while you migrate to it.

That architecture I recommended ten minutes ago? It's crappy and broken now, there's a new JavaScript framework to use instead.

Scratch that, we're doing it in Rust.

Thanks again for your business, we here at Hacker News Consultancy sure do appreciate it!