Thread incoming, this time debunking Kurt Cobain conspiracy theories. It's been 26 years since one of music's greatest frontmen and one of the most compassionate human beings on Earth took his own life, and 26 years since charlatans first attempted to profit off it with bullshit.

Let's start off with their favorite piece of evidence. According to an autopsy report, Kurt had 1.52 mg/L of bloodstream morphine and had taken multiple hits of heroin. Conspiracy theorists claim this would have incapacitated Kurt and made him too high to pull the trigger.

They even go as far as to claim that this is "three times the lethal dose" as if Kurt wasn't already extremely habituated to heroin. Multiple studies have proven that addicts can tolerate far more heroin than the unhabituated but P.I. Tom dismisses them because reasons (lol).

Truthers claim that the bottom four lines of Kurt's suicide note were written by Courtney Love to make it look like a suicide note when it was actually a "retirement note" (right...). Of course, experts disagree and P.I. Tom even stiffed two of em when he didn't get his way.

In another instance of idiots playing detective, truthers claim that the shotgun and shells used were suspiciously wiped clean of fingerprints. Back in reality, the prints just weren't clear enough to be tested, which happens with 95% of gun cases.

They also claim that the shotgun shell ejected from the shotgun was on the opposite side of where it should have came out. The shell ended up where it was probably due to a gun malfunction and cadaveric spasm.

Another outlandish claim is that it couldn't have been a suicide by shotgun because there was very little blood and Kurt's head was reportedly only barely misshapen by the blast. He used a .20 birdshot thru the roof of the mouth, which wouldn't produce as much gore as a headshot.

Back to the note, Private Instigator Tom Grant claims that Courtney's lawyer provided him a handwriting practice sheet, supposedly from Courtney's backpack, proving she forged the note.
Watch this crackpot video for the greatest mental gymnastics on Earth:

The lawyer, for her part, has never confirmed nor denied this, probably because this is a huge violation of client confidentiality, not to mention an easy way to get disbarred and even sent to jail. Not to mention the lack of evidence that the sheet has any connection to Courtney

And the climax is that some of the letters barely sorta kinda resemble each other. Womp womp.
P.I. Tom says that Kurt told the same lawyer he wanted to write Courtney out of his will, which is ridiculous because legally you can't just exclude your spouse from your estate.

Another astoundingly stupid piece of circumstantial evidence, Kurt's credit card was used several times after he died, right up until his corpse was discovered. Anyone who actually knows anything about Kurt would realize this isn't a discrepancy, because

Kurt would often lend his credit card to heroin dealers if he didn't have cash on hand to pay them. Kurt obviously bought heroin after he got back to Seattle and it's unlikely he was walking around with a lot of cash, so this is probably what happened.

Another thing these geniuses take issue with is the fact that the investigation was closed after only one day, probably due to the fact that there was nothing left to investigate. However, forensics examiners were still analyzing things such as the note weeks after the discovery.

In the early morning of 3 March, 1994 while Nirvana was on tour and Kurt and Courtney were staying in a hotel in Rome, she found him overdosed on Rohypnol in an apparent suicide attempt and called an ambulance, saving his life. Geniuses believe she spiked his drink to murder him.

They also don't trust her because she's inconsistent with some story details such as how many pills Kurt took, what he was wearing when they found him dead, and the extent of his head wound. Such misremembering is consistent with experiencing a traumatic event.

"But why doesn't she just sue Tom Grant?"
Do you really think she wants to go through years of court proceedings over some avaricious nutcase and his army of simps? For an idea of how gullible they are, they think this obvious piece of humor proves that Kurt despised Courtney.

Plus, she can't sue the producers of Soaked In Bleach because it's a work of fiction that misleads the viewer with heavily edited interviews for the sake of ENTERTAINMENT to make MONEY.

Of course P.I. Tom is making mad dough off of his conspiracy theory (for the low, low price of $90, you can listen to him bitch over the phone for an hour!! What a deal!!) but his toadies never mention this.

They also believe this guy claiming that Courtney offered him 50grand to blow Kurt's head off (it was a publicity stunt). He died wandering around drunk two days later but the Enlightened know Courtney used her witch powers to force a train to run him over

About that Allen guy, apparently these humorless fucks believe he must have been 100% serious when he said he killed Kurt for loadsamoney, no way it could have just been a joke to mess with conspiracy theorists.

Even Kurt's grandfather has fallen for this bullshit, parrotting the same old claims as Grant and his legions of trolls.

Lightning round of half-baked claims:
1. Kurt wasn't suicidal (lyrics pls?)
2. Courtney was controlling and manipulative of Kurt (false)
3. The gun was melted to hide evidence (here it is in 2016)
4. The greenhouse was torn down to hide evidence (actually over neighbor disputes)

The vast majority of Kurt's family, friends, and fans accept that he died by his own hand. His family knows the pain all too well as depression and suicide have been a reoccurring plague. One of Kurt's bandmates and best friends has said some particularly choice words on it.

The replies to one of Krist's posts on the matter is lousy with brainwashed conspiracy theorists who won't accept that their idol killed himself. Kurt's choice to take his own life is unspeakably tragic, but we have to accept the reality and move on. https://twitter.com/kristnovoselic/status/797601512750862336

Kurt Donald Cobain was one of the most astounding musicians of the 20th century and it's unlikely we'll ever see anyone quite like him in this lifetime.
He was also a man of great empathy, standing up for the rights of women and queer people even when it was unpopular.

Kurt deserves better than to have his corpse metaphorically dragged into the spotlight over and over again by people who can't accept what happened. His family, friends, and real fans deserve better. This final message is addressed to @tomgrantpi and everyone else: Let Kurt rest.

Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Kurt_Cobain
http://spdblotter.seattle.gov/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Follow_Up_Report_Photos.pdf
https://www.reddit.com/r/Nirvana/comments/bvpgpx/hi_rnirvana_i_am_krist_novoselic_ama/eprih8j/
http://www.alternativenation.net/kurt-cobain-murder-conspiracy-debate-with-tom-grant-gets-heated/
https://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note_scan.html

https://knowsnotwhatitmeans.blogspot.com/2017/09/the-complete-idiots-guide-to-kurt.html
https://handwritinguniversity.com/members/weekly-newsletters/kurt-cobains-suicide-note-analyzed/
https://twitter.com/soakedinbs/status/847094284088049665
https://www.flickr.com/photos/garygcarlson/3236995723
https://www.flickriver.com/photos/60265049@N07/sets/72157626200611042/

https://soakedinbullshit.tumblr.com/theshotgun 
https://www.instagram.com/p/BDo_8QfxyWj/?taken-by=soakedinbullshit
http://www.feelnumb.com/2009/11/19/where-kurt-cobain-purchased-his-shotgun
https://soakedinbullshit.tumblr.com/thecreditcard  https://www.reuters.com/article/us-people-kurtcobain/copy-kurt-cobains-wallet-note-mocks-marriage-vow-to-courtney-love-idUSKBN0DG1ZD20140430

https://genius.com/Nirvana-you-know-youre-right-lyrics
http://kuriakon00.tripod.com/kurt/kurt_cobain_advocate.htm
https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/photos-shotgun-found-at-kurt-cobain-death-scene/4/

Big ups to @soakedinbs for being the source of a good chunk of the evidence used in this thread.