Similarly to what @abbynormansays has been saying about people not “coping AT you,” I think it’s worth also saying that on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a lot of people are in the bottom two levels of “physiological” and “safety” needs which can explain why people are distant. /1
Though we may not all necessarily be immediately in danger of contracting COVID-19 or being evicted, not have food to eat, etc., these are all psychological threats that are looming over us right now, which means mentally many of us are not in the “love/belonging” level. /2
That’s not to say that this pandemic is an excuse for people to ghost or neglect each other, but it’s worth repeating because there are a lot of pop relationship sayings out there like “this pandemic will reveal who’s really in your court,” but that’s not true. /3
These are not normal times and people are not dealing with a normal mental and psychological load right now. To apply these kinds of pop relationship advice in these times will only breed resentment in you towards others who are just trying to cope and get by how they can. /4
I’m saying this probably much more to myself than anyone else, but we also need to be gentle and gracious with others right now as well as ourselves. Especially in a pandemic, we cannot take people’s coping personally. /5
This is especially hard for people, like me, who have anxious, avoidant, or anxious-avoidant attachment styles, but we have to really understand that people are not necessarily taking advantage of social distancing to ghost, disappear, whatever. /6
We’re all coping the best we can with a very unprecedented global pandemic that we haven’t seen within the last century. Be gentle and kind with yourself and others in these days, weeks, and months and know most of us are just in survival mode right now. 7/7
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