i don't trust people who think being nice is akin to kindness.

niceness = tameez jo waise bhi sab ko aani chahiye.

however, it's not a substitute for empathy, solidarity or truthfulness. i'm too opinionated to be 'nice'. most of my closest friends aren't 'nice' either.

i have spent a good part of my life being a people-pleaser and walking on eggshells around others, which is why i find this idea of 'being nice' to be supremely oppressive. i am a complex, difficult woman, like other complex women. i am patient but i am also brutally honest.

i am not afraid to rock the boat. standing up for yourself and others always involves calling a spade a spade, articulating uncomfortable truths, having difficult conversations. that's exactly what people who tell women to be 'nice' don't want them to do.

aurato ko saari zindagi kaha jata hai ke woh tahammul se baat karein, chahey kisi ki baat kitni ko nuqsaan de ho. aisi achaayi ka kya faida, when you are consistently being told to be a doormat & not invest in convos that require your time, patience, emotions & intelligence?

being nice depoliticizes you.

don't be afraid to show what makes you tick. be an actual human being, not a cliche, or a saint, regardless of how unpalatable you think you are. be your strange, vulnerable, awkward, obstinate, inconsistent, scarred, fallible self.

kindness, however, is political. it's an investment.

it's not just being 'helpful'. it doesn't always result in pleasant, feel-good experiences. it entails risks and requires immense courage. your time and compassion.

that willingness to go the extra mile for another person.