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So i& #39;m going to tell you a story about something that happened to me about this time in 2018. It& #39;s a completely true story and although it is a personal story I am hoping it will provide you insights into what is happening.
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CW: drugs, psychosis
Firstly this story is about drugs and hallucinations so if those are problems for you best not continue with this thread.
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Firstly this story is about drugs and hallucinations so if those are problems for you best not continue with this thread.
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In August 2017 I was misprescribed medication that caused my brain to overexcite instead of causing me to have a seizure and to develop epilepsy I instead (as I later found out) developed the ability to hallucinate mainly visual with some auditory (now all gone sadly).
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Now I am (believe it or not) fairly sane. I might have some triggers and occasionally overreact (I am autistic afterall lol) but I have no real hang ups. I have high self-esteem and don& #39;t hate myself or anything like that (from years of expensive therapy I might add).
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Without getting into the details unbeknowst to me due to another drug I was on, drugs increased overexcitation of my brain whilst it being able to in response cause me to hallucinate. I didn& #39;t lose insight so not technically psychosis I believe.
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Having felt like I& #39;d done too much drugs* I went to hospital in Manchester and I was fine. My heart was fine. They put me in a room until it had worn off enough for me to go home.
*entirely the fault of the new medication for which there was no warning about I might add
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*entirely the fault of the new medication for which there was no warning about I might add
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I then set off home hopeful that I would again hallucinate. It was an hour walk home and usually quiet and a place I was very familiar with, so little anxiety in relation to the journey. Indeed I enjoyed it.
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I started walking through this familiar estate and I saw this person (who in hindsight looked a bit like my ex) and he looked lost standing in the middle of the road. I then thought I must be extra careful crossing the road so I don& #39;t get run over.
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I then looked about the estate and saw all these people milling about which I thought was strange as it was midnight. I then saw this group of women chatting to each other and I thought what if someone comes and talks to me.
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I saw I had my trainers on and thought if someone comes and talks to me then I can just run away. Having solved those two potential worries I felt much less anxious and walked home intent on enjoying the experience.
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I then walked through the estate and crossed the road to a darker alley. I thought this will be fun I wonder what I will see here! I walked up to this path and saw three guys talking to each with their bikes on the ground in front of them. I remember staring at their bikes.
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I then saw this guy on a bike circling round (it reminded me of the boy in breaking bad but with hindsight the guy was the same as the one earlier). As I walked up he cycled up the road right next to this guy walking away.
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I thought that was really odd but carried on walking home. I then got obsessed with flashing lights (as you do lol) but I didn& #39;t have anymore hallucinations.
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Over the next few days I pondered what happened and THREE WHOLE FUCKING DAYS LATER. I realised that even with trainers I would not have been able to outrun someone on a bike. Twice my unconscious had tried to tell me this but my conscious did not want to hear it.
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The thought was alien to me. Like God or some other higher power existed and had been trying to warn me. Of course if I *had* thought that then I would have had a really shitty walk home. So my brain shielded me from the facts to protect me.
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