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every current NBA arena name, ranked.
why? because it was midnight and I was bored.
a thread.
why? because it was midnight and I was bored.
a thread.
29. Vivint Smart Home Arena (Utah Jazz)
This name is ugly AND it doesnât make any sense grammatically. Is it a VIVINT SMART Home Arena or a Vivint SMART HOME Arena? Which words get the emphasis? Iâm confused.
This name is ugly AND it doesnât make any sense grammatically. Is it a VIVINT SMART Home Arena or a Vivint SMART HOME Arena? Which words get the emphasis? Iâm confused.
28. Fiserv Forum (Milwaukee Bucks)
This oneâs just ugly to say. I donât like how the word âFiservâ feels in my mouth.
This oneâs just ugly to say. I donât like how the word âFiservâ feels in my mouth.
27. Golden 1 Center (Sacramento Kings)
This should be the Warriors. Also, please, per my sixth grade English teacher, it should be Golden ONE Center. Thank you.
This should be the Warriors. Also, please, per my sixth grade English teacher, it should be Golden ONE Center. Thank you.
26. Little Caesars Arena (Detroit Pistons)
Not only is this sponsor hilariously bad as a concept, itâs grammatically incorrect. The brand is called Little Caesarâs. Note the apostrophe. This is horrible. Imagine going to a game at Little Caesars Arena. Detroit⊠Do better.
Not only is this sponsor hilariously bad as a concept, itâs grammatically incorrect. The brand is called Little Caesarâs. Note the apostrophe. This is horrible. Imagine going to a game at Little Caesars Arena. Detroit⊠Do better.
25. Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Rocket, like the Houston Rockets. Mortgage, which is stressful. And last but not least, Fieldhouse. Basketball is played on a court. I hate this.
Rocket, like the Houston Rockets. Mortgage, which is stressful. And last but not least, Fieldhouse. Basketball is played on a court. I hate this.
24. Bankers Life FieldHouse (Indiana Pacers)
For basically the same reasons as the Cavs, come on now. The Midwest is so bad at this. I think this one might need an apostrophe as well.
For basically the same reasons as the Cavs, come on now. The Midwest is so bad at this. I think this one might need an apostrophe as well.
23. Talking Stick Resort Arena (Phoenix Suns)
Too many words going on here. Not really sure how the announcers donât stutter the hell out of this one, but I guess you learn that at announcing school. Just know that if I was behind the mic, I would be butchering this name all day.
Too many words going on here. Not really sure how the announcers donât stutter the hell out of this one, but I guess you learn that at announcing school. Just know that if I was behind the mic, I would be butchering this name all day.
22. FedExForum (Memphis Grizzlies)
Two words: one word. This sounds like a TED Talk is about to go down. I donât like it. Split it in half, please.
Two words: one word. This sounds like a TED Talk is about to go down. I donât like it. Split it in half, please.
21. American Airlines Center (Dallas Mavericks)
DO. BETTER. Miami did this literally a million times better. Did I mention: copycat? Get your own sponsor. You can find a better sponsor, Dallas. I believe in you.
DO. BETTER. Miami did this literally a million times better. Did I mention: copycat? Get your own sponsor. You can find a better sponsor, Dallas. I believe in you.
20. Smoothie King Center (New Orleans Pelicans)
This oneâs just plain funny. Smoothie King. Of all sponsors. If anything, it has a decent acronym.
This oneâs just plain funny. Smoothie King. Of all sponsors. If anything, it has a decent acronym.
19. Toyota Center (Houston Rockets)
Boring. Nothing quite going on here. Feels like Iâm buying a car. Doesnât have a cute abbreviation or anything. No personality. Eh.
Boring. Nothing quite going on here. Feels like Iâm buying a car. Doesnât have a cute abbreviation or anything. No personality. Eh.
18. Chesapeake Energy Arena (Oklahoma City Thunder)
⊠Youâre in Oklahoma. Quirky, though. I like that Iâve never heard of this sponsor. Takes a break from the corporate weirdness. Not very nice to say, though.
⊠Youâre in Oklahoma. Quirky, though. I like that Iâve never heard of this sponsor. Takes a break from the corporate weirdness. Not very nice to say, though.
17. Target Center (Minnesota Timberwolves)
How Midwestern can you get? Once again, this one isnât terrible, just boring. No abbreviation. Nothing quirky about it. Also, I love Target.
How Midwestern can you get? Once again, this one isnât terrible, just boring. No abbreviation. Nothing quirky about it. Also, I love Target.
16. Moda Center (Portland Trailblazers)
This oneâs short and sweet, and a cool name for a stadium. Kind of boring, though, for a city like Portland, and it doesn't sound that great when you say it.
This oneâs short and sweet, and a cool name for a stadium. Kind of boring, though, for a city like Portland, and it doesn't sound that great when you say it.
15. United Center (Chicago Bulls)
This is it. The most generic name on here. Itâs like if the word âehâ was a place. Only brownie points are for the short-and-sweet aspect. Midwest, do better.
This is it. The most generic name on here. Itâs like if the word âehâ was a place. Only brownie points are for the short-and-sweet aspect. Midwest, do better.
14. State Farm Arena (Atlanta Hawks)
SFA is a pretty cool acronym. Doesnât really fit the Hawks aesthetic, though. Or does it? Sounds kinda weird when you say it, too. Awkward consonance.
SFA is a pretty cool acronym. Doesnât really fit the Hawks aesthetic, though. Or does it? Sounds kinda weird when you say it, too. Awkward consonance.
13. Chase Center (Golden State Warriors)
Not liking the consonance on this one. The âchâ to a soft c just doesnât work. Short and sweet, though.
Not liking the consonance on this one. The âchâ to a soft c just doesnât work. Short and sweet, though.
12. Pepsi Center (Denver Nuggets)
Once again, pretty âeh,â but the consonance of the P-S-(soft)C-T feels nice to say, and it sounds like youâre opening a can of soda. Nice.
Once again, pretty âeh,â but the consonance of the P-S-(soft)C-T feels nice to say, and it sounds like youâre opening a can of soda. Nice.
11. TD Garden (Boston Celtics)
TD Bank Garden wouldnât sound any better. Eh. Points for 'Garden,' though.
TD Bank Garden wouldnât sound any better. Eh. Points for 'Garden,' though.
10. Capital One Arena (Washington Wizards)
Boring, but at least they got the One right and itâs not annoying to say. Plus, âCapitalâ in DC. Youâve gotta hand it to the Wizards on this one.
Boring, but at least they got the One right and itâs not annoying to say. Plus, âCapitalâ in DC. Youâve gotta hand it to the Wizards on this one.
9. American Airlines Arena (Miami Heat)
Loving the alliteration! AAA is a sick acronym. However, this is a bit (a lot) of a mouthful. Better than those copycats over in Dallas, though, and fits Miami as a travel destination. Very cool.
Loving the alliteration! AAA is a sick acronym. However, this is a bit (a lot) of a mouthful. Better than those copycats over in Dallas, though, and fits Miami as a travel destination. Very cool.
8. AT&T Center (San Antonio Spurs)
The consonance is nearly perfect. Short and sweet. Recognizable but not annoying, classic sponsor. Flows. Weird acronym, though.
The consonance is nearly perfect. Short and sweet. Recognizable but not annoying, classic sponsor. Flows. Weird acronym, though.
7. Barclays Center (Brooklyn Nets)
Fancy. Decent consonance. Sounds like youâre attending an Eventâą. Sounds good in a transatlantic accent. Sets the tone quite well.
Fancy. Decent consonance. Sounds like youâre attending an Eventâą. Sounds good in a transatlantic accent. Sets the tone quite well.
6. Amway Center (Orlando Magic)
The lack of consonance and assonance actually works on this one, because the contrasting sounds make it recognizable and sound quite profound when announced. Beauty.
The lack of consonance and assonance actually works on this one, because the contrasting sounds make it recognizable and sound quite profound when announced. Beauty.
5. STAPLES Center (Los Angeles Lakers/Los Angeles Clippers)
I feel like I would hate this one if it wasnât as iconic as it is. Staples does have the same sounds as Center, though, so Iâm a huge fan of the symmetry. The words fall into iambic pentameter. Beautiful.
I feel like I would hate this one if it wasnât as iconic as it is. Staples does have the same sounds as Center, though, so Iâm a huge fan of the symmetry. The words fall into iambic pentameter. Beautiful.
4. Spectrum Center (Charlotte Hornets)
That. Freaking. Consonance. Plus a little artsy name to go with it. Near perfect. Iambic pentameter. Godsend to the arena-naming world.
That. Freaking. Consonance. Plus a little artsy name to go with it. Near perfect. Iambic pentameter. Godsend to the arena-naming world.
3. Scotiabank Arena (Toronto Raptors)
Beautifully Canadian with some beautiful assonance. All of those As. Sounds good in a Canadian accent. Love it.
Beautifully Canadian with some beautiful assonance. All of those As. Sounds good in a Canadian accent. Love it.
2. Wells Fargo Center (Philadelphia 76ers)
I am biased. Lots of different sounds going on here in the best way. Doesnât lose the original quirky sound of Wachovia, and way more original. Love the -go sound. Sounds strong when spoken. Good.
I am biased. Lots of different sounds going on here in the best way. Doesnât lose the original quirky sound of Wachovia, and way more original. Love the -go sound. Sounds strong when spoken. Good.
1. Madison Square Garden (New York Knicks)
Now if this isnât the quirkiest name in the league⊠Love how itâs just a place: Madison Square. And a garden on top of it all! If I didnât know anything about basketball or New York Iâd think this was an art museum. Incredible. (1/2)
Now if this isnât the quirkiest name in the league⊠Love how itâs just a place: Madison Square. And a garden on top of it all! If I didnât know anything about basketball or New York Iâd think this was an art museum. Incredible. (1/2)
1. Madison Square Garden (New York Knicks) (contd)
Not corporate. A relic of the glitzy New York of the past. Madison. Square. Garden. The ultimate prize for word nerds everywhere.
Not corporate. A relic of the glitzy New York of the past. Madison. Square. Garden. The ultimate prize for word nerds everywhere.
Thank you for tuning into this thread. Free Dario, as always.
