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Manager - Rafa Benitez
BRING PRINCE RAFA HOME. The king of the north east belongs at SJP. Beloved by all, tactical genius and a sexy little minx.
Is there a better sight than this
BRING PRINCE RAFA HOME. The king of the north east belongs at SJP. Beloved by all, tactical genius and a sexy little minx.
Is there a better sight than this
GK - Martin Dubravka
Martin keeps his place. Although he spikes his hair up like a middle school child and although is head looks like the trophy were playing for, he has been absolutely superb since he joined. We'd be relegated without him.
Martin keeps his place. Although he spikes his hair up like a middle school child and although is head looks like the trophy were playing for, he has been absolutely superb since he joined. We'd be relegated without him.
CB - Fabian Schar
The most handsome bloke in football. I'd tuck him in after he nested me bird.
Best ball playing centre half in the Premier League btw.
Schar keeps his place.
The most handsome bloke in football. I'd tuck him in after he nested me bird.
Best ball playing centre half in the Premier League btw.
Schar keeps his place.
CB - Jamaal Lascelles
Had to keep wor Jamaal in, been loyal to us from the day he joined, a fantastic leader that the lads will respond to.
Also he's Rafa's teachers pet everyone knows that.
Had to keep wor Jamaal in, been loyal to us from the day he joined, a fantastic leader that the lads will respond to.
Also he's Rafa's teachers pet everyone knows that.
RB - Dani Alves
The lads getting a bit old these days but the infamous cartel favela merchant will link perfectly with my right winger.
Also a decent player back in the day ive heard.
The lads getting a bit old these days but the infamous cartel favela merchant will link perfectly with my right winger.
Also a decent player back in the day ive heard.
LB - Jetro Willems
Resigning this man is an absolute MUST. His release clause is like 10 mill, fuck it we'll pay 100 because we can.
Was the best LB in world football before his injury. Ive heard Trent is still spinning.
What a lovely bloke he is aswell :)
Resigning this man is an absolute MUST. His release clause is like 10 mill, fuck it we'll pay 100 because we can.
Was the best LB in world football before his injury. Ive heard Trent is still spinning.
What a lovely bloke he is aswell :)
CM - Luka Modric
We were the first club to identify this lads talent. But the stupid cunts in charge decided he was too tall to be a top player.
The Saudi Prince opt to behead all involved and pay 200 million for him.
We were the first club to identify this lads talent. But the stupid cunts in charge decided he was too tall to be a top player.
The Saudi Prince opt to behead all involved and pay 200 million for him.
CM - Jonjo Shelvey
The greatest bald player of our generation. His passing range is better than any midfield player in history. Would absolutely shine in a good team.
Hates Rafa but they kiss and make up because aImirxn told him too on this bird app.
The greatest bald player of our generation. His passing range is better than any midfield player in history. Would absolutely shine in a good team.
Hates Rafa but they kiss and make up because aImirxn told him too on this bird app.
CAM - Miguel Almiron
The most beautiful smile in the Premier League. Mr nice guy, probably a virgin.
The lad is scary quick and works harder than any player ive ever seen.
Rafa decides to actually play him in his proper position because he is not a mackem bacon addict.
The most beautiful smile in the Premier League. Mr nice guy, probably a virgin.
The lad is scary quick and works harder than any player ive ever seen.
Rafa decides to actually play him in his proper position because he is not a mackem bacon addict.
LW - Allan Saint-Maximin
The north east saviour himself. Carried us all season long. The coolest bloke ive ever came across. Moves like Michael Jackson (above the sheets ofc).
The best dribbler in world football, another player who i would allow to secks my bird.
The north east saviour himself. Carried us all season long. The coolest bloke ive ever came across. Moves like Michael Jackson (above the sheets ofc).
The best dribbler in world football, another player who i would allow to secks my bird.
RW - Lionel Messi
The second coming of Hatem Ben Arfa. The only player to ever be close to what HBA achieved.
Toon fans respect Messi because we know ball.
Saudi Prince pays 500 million to pull off the hesit of the century.
The second coming of Hatem Ben Arfa. The only player to ever be close to what HBA achieved.
Toon fans respect Messi because we know ball.
Saudi Prince pays 500 million to pull off the hesit of the century.
ST - Kylian Mbappe
Finally. The big move. The new face of the club. The only generational talent in the world comes to the home of football to play infront of the greatest fans in the world.
First day on Tyneside he necks 2 pills in Digi and unfortunately passes away... Sad.
Finally. The big move. The new face of the club. The only generational talent in the world comes to the home of football to play infront of the greatest fans in the world.
First day on Tyneside he necks 2 pills in Digi and unfortunately passes away... Sad.
End of thread. Rts appreciated.
