Fellow autistics - what is your best literal moment to date? When I was 22, I went to a wedding for the first time. At exactly midnight, I waited outside the venue expectantly, wondering why nobody else had showed up for the promised carriages.

I had to work very hard to hide my disappointment when it was explained to me that ‘carriages at midnight’ is a polite way of saying ‘please fuck off at midnight’ and not ‘we’re all going on a lovely horse and carriage ride’

When I was a teenager I worked at Iceland. I was told the golden rule was to stack everything in order of sell-by date, which is how I came to spend a good hour and a half looking for the sell-by date on a pack of bog roll.