it's ncie that i'm up at odd hours when i post things i decide are waaaay too personal lmfao

god it's so fucked up like, being so busy that i stay up late enough that it's like, god it's almost 8 am and i didn't sleep

i'm doing that math thing where i'm like, is 4 hours enough

i'll be getting more sleep soon once this is all over, which sounds incredibly menacing if you know about how depressed i've been feeling, but i'm actually doing great lmfao

i'm just super busy with other stuff!!!

like holy cow i don't want to jinx it but it's like night and day. i keep waiting to crash but it's like, 80% of my depression has been eliminated. i'm genuinely surprised at how much energy i have, and yet how calm i can feel lmao

like a problem right now is that i stayed up too late working on stuff because i've had so much energy today that this is like, peak energy level for god, even a month ago

even right before this. i was at one of the lowest points in my life -- it's like a fever broke