Read on Twitter
i’ve seen the word ‘favourite person’ used a lot in bpd spaces, but i think ppl who have faced trauma can have problems with this too - a thread
fp’s can be anyone, friends, family members, relationships, etc. mine tend to be potential partners/crushes. if you don’t know what a favourite person is, this is what having one can make you feel like (from personal experience) :
- craving attention/affection from them constantly
- wanting to be around them all the time
- wanting to change your hobbies/interests to match theirs, in belief it will make them like you more
- fantasizing a future with them
- wanting to be around them all the time
- wanting to change your hobbies/interests to match theirs, in belief it will make them like you more
- fantasizing a future with them
- affection/praise from them makes you so happy it feels like an emotional high
- you idealize them greatly
- thus you defend and understand their every action, even if they’re wrong/abusive
- you miss them intensely even if they’re gone for just a few hours
- you idealize them greatly
- thus you defend and understand their every action, even if they’re wrong/abusive
- you miss them intensely even if they’re gone for just a few hours
- it’s hard to get through the day without them
- your mood depends on whether they give you attention
- you are anxious and panic with any change of tone from them, or lack of interest
- your mood depends on whether they give you attention
- you are anxious and panic with any change of tone from them, or lack of interest
- you are extremely anxious about them abandoning you
- you feel like you wouldn’t be able to cope/live without them
- if they don’t text you back or act disinterested, you are in deep pain and feel abandoned
- you feel like you wouldn’t be able to cope/live without them
- if they don’t text you back or act disinterested, you are in deep pain and feel abandoned
- if they ignore/neglect you, it feels like your entire world is breaking down
- you HATE yourself massively if you’ve upset them/think you’ve upset them
- you get easily jealous/upset if they spend time with other people but try so hard to ignore it as you know it’s irrational
- you HATE yourself massively if you’ve upset them/think you’ve upset them
- you get easily jealous/upset if they spend time with other people but try so hard to ignore it as you know it’s irrational
- you feel like the only way to be happy is to have them with you
- you only feel ‘normal’ or mentally well when they’re with you or in contact with you
- you feel like you have no identity or life purpose without them, as your life revolves around them
- you only feel ‘normal’ or mentally well when they’re with you or in contact with you
- you feel like you have no identity or life purpose without them, as your life revolves around them
- you get deeply upset, or even angry if this person says something to hurt your feelings, says the wrong thing, makes you feel bad or doesn’t act according to ‘the script’ in your head
please be aware that many of these symptoms are very irrational. they stem from abuse, thus leading to clingyness, insecurity, and abandonment issues. fp’s can be good as it enables a close, strong relationship with someone, but because of this emotional intensity...
it’s also damaging, as it’s very difficult for you and your fp to cope with. you may find yourself straying them away and becoming heavily codependent on them. it is very important to work on these issues and learn healthy boundaries with people and relationships
to add I’ve not been diagnosed with bpd. I’ve been told I have cptsd by a therapist I saw twice, so i don’t think that was an official diagnosis. just stating this in case I’ve listed anything you may not agree with but ofc, not everyone will experience every single point either
