I think it’s time for me to introduce you to a very special person in my life: [REDACTED], who has also been planning a wedding for July 11, and who for the past several weeks has been waging a campaign across the Wedding Internet about how she will NOT POSTPONE.

I found her a while back, in an earnest search to see what other sane people were doing. But now I just check in periodically for updates:

I know times are tough rn but imagine going on the internet multiple times per day to tell strangers “things are trending in the right direction”

Because of our national collective disinterest in planning more than one month of this pandemic at a time, most vendors (who are obviously also stressing right now) still aren’t rescheduling or refunding anything past May because “let’s wait and see.”

So lately the “July 11 brides” thread is a lot of people just expressing legitimate frustration at a situation out of their control.

And then there’s my future wife:

She is always there to support my other fave archetype of the coronabride discourse: the “i acknowledge the scale of this crisis but *my* wedding is different” woman.

I regret to inform you that this is probably not going to be your biggest issue in June.

We need to be worried about the people who post multiple-paragraph comments that start with “Hi ladies!!!! I know everyone’s situation is different but.....” as they pose a legitimate public health risk.

I’m telling you I think some people are only learning about covid from the wedding planning process.

What’s going to happen to all these weddings that are being postponed just a few months? The president’s doctor has an idea: