So, let& #39;s talk about the use of the term "Cinderella" in describing these cases. Cinderella was abused, imprisoned, frightened, a victim. She was delicate, had suffered a number of ACEs and just needed a Prince to save her (insert eye roll here) 1/7 https://twitter.com/DrJennyMackay/status/1250334104656039936">https://twitter.com/DrJennyMa...

If women who perp violence at home are seen in this way (& I& #39;m not saying they shouldn& #39;t be), what is our instinct? Probably to understand why (which usually means assuming self-defence), to care, to sympathise, to rescue.There are 2 fundamental problems with this that I see 2/7

1) We (society) do not give this same understanding to men who are violent within the home. We shame, we call them toxic, we don& #39;t care. None of this https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👈" title="Left pointing backhand index" aria-label="Emoji: Left pointing backhand index"> has ever worked to help people change their behaviour. 3/7

2) We (society) assume violence is used in self-defence and thus entirely justify our main protagonist& #39;s behaviour. This does nothing to tackle violence and abuse perpetrated by women, and the narrative works as a maintaining factor for the abuse. 4/7

I have interviewed men whose violence against a female partner was self-defence. I have interviewed women whose violence against their intimate partners was NOT self-defence. 5/7

Women and men who perpetrate intimate partner violence are being done a disservice when we make assumptions, do not listen to their complex back stories and do not attempt to tackle their risk and need. 6/7

Let& #39;s please stop talking about women as if they are fragile creatures who can& #39;t be blamed for their actions. 7/END