It is astonishing that ppl consider their Western liberal white queerness as the universal queer exp & so hate on authors like M/XTX for not depicting more LGBT+ rep. That's not on her to uphold. Don't foist your v different standards onto others, esp not 'gays flock together'.

There're layers of privilege that allow ppl to be safely out of the closet, heck, even to meet other queer POC, to even be aware & exposed to such discussion. In some countries the censorship is so heavy that many queer youths think they're the only gay they know, they're sick.

It's a pyramid. At the bottom in ASEAN countries like mine w religious fundamentalism are kids who are subjected to violence, corrective camps/rape, murder by their own families esp. when they are in poverty. They don't even have the means to seek info on people like them.

Also intersectional. M/uslim kids in my country will have it much worse, bc there are draconian laws in place that will fuck them up if they're caught/sold out by others, their own family, etc. How can these kids even 'hang out' together? They can't find their own ilk, and -

if they do, where would they go? My partner has harboured a young gay M/uslim kid who cried for help on 1 of our local queer groups. He dropped out of college bc family stopped paying fees & beat him up, ran away w only his phone. Thank fuck he had access to socmed. Many don't.

We had some queer events, all of which fizzled out & shut down not for lack of attendees or buzz. Authorities in such countries monitor aggressively for mentions of L/GBT & online discussion abt such queer-friendly spaces in order to raid them & shut them down.

They will contact organisers & owners of venues who support queer events to threaten to arrest/raid, it's extremely damaging for venues esp for those who own smaller businesses.

This is the reality for many of us where gays cannot even flock together or we'd be in danger.

Being in a group implies that you can safely connect & meet other queers to become friends. Young queers are also in danger from their own ilk, mind you, w predatory older men/women who take advantage of those who are uninformed abt the community in order to sexually abuse them.

There is no safety net for many. There is no way they can reach out for information. I once co-ran a small queer co-op space to address this and we got abusive hate messages written on our walls when some ppl discovered us, and we had to shut it down for our own physical safety.

I am so privileged to have a paying job, w a roof over my head, to pass as cishet bc I am a femme, to not be born M/slim & be subject to those laws, w a parent who is grudgingly accepting but who respects that I'm not going to 'become' straight. I am the extreme minority.

My partner who also has a paying job, a home & can pass as androgynous cishet has been beaten bloody & slapped by her family for being found outside without her h/jab, abused when her family found out she watched p*rn. Can you imagine if they knew she's queer?

Being able to flock & hang out together openly where ppl can possibly identify your queer-coded presentation is wonderful & I am happy for you. Pls don't assume many of us have access to this; being found in a group like that could very well mean death for other queer youths.

Don't even talk about hanging out in a group. Even trying to connect with a potential lover has its risks. Coffee? God forbid if others realise you're a lelaki l/mbut (soft man) meeting another man in a cafe. Some men will be waiting for you outside w pokers & bats to attack you.

Meet someone for an illicit jaunt? When you're young/poor, what can you afford? Hotels identified for their cheaper rates, <3are prime targets for raiding. Not just for unwed straight couples, but also to capture queer couples & arrest them. More abuse happens in jail.

Financial security, social safety nets, class, race, gender all play a role in influencing & calculating how safe it is for us to exist, how we navigate our daily lives as L/GBT, and how we can connect w others in a queer community, if we're lucky enough to have one.

As I read earlier on my tl, it would really help others if we were all kinder towards those who do not have the privileges some of us do to be out & proud, or who are not bound by censorship. It is reductivist to assume all queer experiences & even priorities are universal.

E.g. privileged left-leaning young queers when returning from studying abroad in Western institutions to my country get really outraged that ppl like me lobby to end homelessness for trans youths & repealing certain laws to punish ppl for sodomy, instead of for marriage equality.

Bc I'm wlw, I'm branded a traitor to the cause for not fighting to be able to get married to my partner. And you know why they're angry? Bc for many of these privileged queers even here, trans youth homelessness doesn't affect them. They're safe, bc they're cis queers.