i am grateful for the powerful lessons i learned in listening to and trusting myself because i was surrounded by adults that always wanted to me to deny my own awareness and my own intuition to cover up their own transgressions. i have never been one to believe in blind trust.

my parents always asked for me to trust them and never showed me why i could and when i didn't trust them and went against what they told me, they would get mad at me. it was indeed very backwards and the source of a lot of resistance.

i'm never going to agree with "just trust me" especially if i witness you not even trusting yourself. call it paranoia. call it overprotection. but what you can't call it is stupidity. i don't ever offer up myself to be in the blind leadership of another person.

i'm very good at figuring things out on my own and while i can appreciate what my parents considered "protection" because it came from their own perceived good intentions, to me it read as them being so fearful that they didn't even trust that they did a good job raising me.

they bragged about me being so this and so that but when it came time for me to prove that in the world, here they go with the controlling behavior and restriction. as if they were scared of letting me be my own person. i don't have that fear. don't project it on me.

i truly understand, but i don't follow that path. i didn't like being treated like i was a danger to myself just because i choose courage over playing it safe. i'm adventurous and unafraid of my own learning process. leave me be if you're just a scaredy cat. and i'll leave you be

half the time, i felt like my parents didn't believe i was actually smart and aware. my intuition AND my instincts are very sharp ... or else the adults, including them, wouldn't have dedicated so much time to upholding the illusions around me knowing i can always spot bullshit.