In an attempt to keep myself accountable and hopefully BE BETTER, I am going to keep an ongoing list of all of the things I fail at as a husband. Keep in mind that my wife also works and that i call myself an advocate for equity at work and at home. this is how i FAIL:

"doing the laundry" does not mean just putting clothes in the washer, it means turning a heap of dirty clothes into clean, dry, folded clothes. FAIL

I don't know where anything is in our home. anything. forget the kids things - i lose all of my things, all the time, and my wife always knows where they are. it isn't because she has a fantastic memory: it is because I expect her to know those things so I don't need to.  FAIL

doing the dishes' doesn't mean i can wait until the end of the night and do everything in an epic sudsy kitchen battle with a podcast for 3h.

it means there are no dishes left in the sink during the day, ever, period. If i don't get to them first, she does them. MEGA FAIL

'cooking dinner' does not mean i get to neglect child care for 2 hours, prepare an elaborate feast of things I love, then leave all of the dishes in my wake. EPIC FAIL

'letting you sleep in' does not count if I spent the entire time 'surviving' and none of the kids are fed, clothed, or any of the other 100 things you do by the time you wake up and i immediately retreat for "a break" TREMENDOUS FAIL

ordering out' does not mean i take 2x longer than needed to get the food so i can tweet in the car and then order almost entirely food I like more FAIL

Always opting to take dumb chores over those that require thoughtful decision making (ex: i'll take out the trash, can you look into life insurance?) is a GIGANTOR FAIL

keeping track of the kids' everything to do with school, doctors, activities, esp friends' parents' names- this is not just your job and I can't complain every time it comes up FINISH HIM FAIL FAIL FAIL