i couldn't read anything long, not really, for the first month of this. i'd start a book and glaze over it, start another and feel my temples start to overheat. reading is my solace/ more or less compulsion so this felt completely bizarre and horrifying; then, tonight, i read.

at first it felt like homework and i...felt like my brain was broken????... but about 40 pages in it clicked back in and i guess i'm back on whatever reading bike i used to ride. i guess what i'm saying is if you lost your appetite for beloved books, force feed yourself?

i'm re-reading muriel spark's loitering with intent and that's what did it, btw

i also re-read her book girls of slender means; perhaps what i'm prescribing here is muriel spark