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One like = one creative way to lose your dictator.
Brought to you by Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"!
Brought to you by Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"!
1) It's possible to build a fifty foot high brick wall around relevant governmental properties without breaching social distancing.
2) When they aren't looking, introduce the raccoons through the back door.
3) Slowly, sheet by sheet, remove all the toiletpaper in the facility and then wait, calm, steady, staring, outside the front door.
4) Block his social accounts. All of them. Mute his name.
5) Every time someone mentions his name shriek at top voice NO THE ANCIENT CURSE
6) Support small business! https://dicksbymail.com/
(The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your dictator)
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your dictator)
7) Do the frontline workers' appreciation clap. Outside his window. All night. All day. It's important to appreciate our frontline workers!
8) Be like Miles Davis. Turn your back to the noise. Face the important people: the band.
9) Intercept his Foodora and then play Yakety Sax as you run, thus ensuring you cannot be caught.
10) If you happen to work at a migrant concentration camp, well, it's a difficult time right now, we're all having trouble remembering things, like locking the doors. Oops.
11) Dub over his press conferences with a calm, stentorian voice repeating GROWNUPS ARE TALKING.
12) Put on a funny voice, call the cable company, and cancel his.
13) Talk less
Smile more
Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for
Especially during public opinion polling that a dictator's party uses to measure the threat level to their regime
Smile more
Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for
Especially during public opinion polling that a dictator's party uses to measure the threat level to their regime
14) Spend less of your energy watching and agonizing over their every move, and more building the foundations of your life without them.
15) Stuff his fundraising envelopes with dead leaves and then run a news expose about fairy gold.
16) Blink, smile, and go "Why would you say a thing like that?" until the talking points sputter into confused froth.
17) Throw some grey rocks. https://www.e-counseling.com/mental-health/what-is-the-grey-rock-method/
18) Put in some vampire-style contact lenses, and reply: "No, no, you're trapped in here with *us*."
(She said, "it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your dictator.")
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your dictator.")
19) Kudzu. Wait.
20) Let late-stage capitalism know there's active market demand for those really big map saws.
21) Visit his summer palace. Leave the windows open. Scatter birdseed. Scenic wildlife enhances curb appeal.
22) Find out where his investment money's going. Sometimes people don't want a stock anymore and it falls. Shame, that.
23) Build a highly elaborate hedge maze and tell him there's attention in the centre. There is no centre.
24) If someone's going to kill you there's nothing nice or good left to stay for.
25) Take a lesson from the sacred texts of our childhood, 1980s morning cartoons, and consider: quicksand.
26) Put about a rumour that Tiger King got higher ratings. Place convenient polar bear. Wait.
27) Hammer three posts into the area around his domicile; connect them with red string; label them Bermuda; wait.
28) It's important to reframe positives out of negatives! Instead of thinking "the next one would be worse", consider reframing to "the next one would know what was coming for his throat". It's these valuable psychological approaches that help us during trying times.
29) "We have a dictator? Huh? Oh. Never heard of him."
30) If there's a group project on and someone's not pulling their weight, well, praise and support the members of the group who are.
