Since shit has hit the fan with dissociadid and teampinata, I'm gonna expand on this a little.

Both these youtubers were recommended to me because I have dissociative amnesia. I literally have no memory of the majority of my life.

I have a poor memory, but amnesia is different. https://twitter.com/thalestral/status/1249768454288216064

All my life I have dissociated severely. I lose time, I end up in different rooms with no recollection of moving, my brain doesn't store memories of people coming and going...

And very rarely, when I've lost time, my consciousness has stepped back.

At those times, my personality appears to shift radically. One single time I watched it happen. Other times I have to rely on what people have told me.

Since I've been in weekly therapy, that has all receded. I still dissociate and lose time, but less drastically.

I'm including this only to show that I have a decent idea of my own brain issues, and why people recommended these youtubers.

However.

I was very quickly put off both people, because of the behaviour of those who follow them. Some who recommended them.

When I wrote plainly about my mental health, as I often do, and talked about the dissociative amnesia and personality shifts, I was hounded in DMs by people asking if I'd heard from my "alters" yet, what their names were, were they like dissociadid?

Over and over again.

It felt... intrusive and like I was some kind of spectator sport. I was urged to get a diagnosis of DID, to read up on how to ~pass~ the test.

(Note - I score high on that test, as would anyone with dissociative amnesia!)

I started to feel alarm bells going off.

I stopped talking about that entire section of my mental health, even as it remains the part that impacts my daily life the most (living with somebody with literal amnesia is hard!!).

I stopped watching the videos but they kept ending up in my feeds.

Recently I watched some bits and pieces and was appalled.

Dissociadid making triggering social media posts was the final straw, long before her partner was outed as an artist of CP.

I firmly believe everyone has the right to be open about their mental health.

WITH TRIGGER WARNINGS.

If you style yourself as a mental health advocate, you CANNOT opt out of trigger warnings and/or use your mental health to deflect from criticism.

tw: suicide

ESPECIALLY when your audience is made up of impressionable young people, most of whom are struggling and vulnerable with their own mental health and/or identity issues.

It is inexcusable to vague post about suicide, to allow your fans to send death threats etc.

tw: ed

And it is inexcusable to share triggering ED information.

I sincerely hope both people seek therapy for these issues, aside from their mental health.

Both have ADDED stigma to dissociative disorders - like mine - because of their own actions.

I feel extremely sorry for those who have DID who have been appalled watching this all unfold, feeling powerless to speak out because of a fanbase that has been weaponised against vulnerable people.

And for those with disorders like myself, who have been silenced - like me.

Those who have experienced trauma may know what I mean when I speak of *those* alarm bells.

There are the ones we ignore, because we know we're being hypervigilant.

And then there are the ones that refuse to be ignored, and we silence ourselves and hide.

I am annoyed with myself that I went silent instead of speaking my objections.

I am frustrated that people trying to appropriate my illness and experiences made me hide.

And I am appalled that these two are still on social media stoking drama instead of seeking help.

Note - none of the people who chased me for info were of systems. All were spectators.

I am friends with systems and folk in systems and absolutely do not dispute their experiences.

I know a lot have been hurting for a while over this situation