My husband started teaching from home today and it is a gosh darn delight listening to excerpts from his lessons. He’s a special ed elementary teacher.

Just now: “Oh, oh, Sansa, I’m sorry... but mermaids aren’t real. I don’t want to bum you out, but no... no, they’re not real.”

(Not using real names, obviously.)

“Can you read that word? No, it’s not a walter, it’s a wal-RUS. […] You’ve never heard of a walrus??? […] It’s what we’re looking at right now."

It was less funny this morning when he had to meet with a kid who couldn’t find the meeting invite link. After an hour, he got the kid on the phone:

“Tyrion, do you see a link from me in your email? [...] No? Maybe it went to junk. Do you see a word beginning with J? J-U-N-K?”

“Wait, Bran, you’ve never done a canonball jump into a pool? Never??? You’re missing out, my dude!”

Today’s first student call: “Whoa!!! Is that a baby?? [...] Your little sister? Very cool, my dude. [...] Do you want to meet my cat?”
[...]
“Yo, Rebecca! Where’s a cat?”

They’re talking about Edgar Allen Poe and Fall of the House of Usher and the whole thing about your spirit feeling trapped in a house just feels a lil on the nose rn

Him: “I need to borrow one of our plants”
Me: ???
Him: “My student showed me one of his plants so now I have to show him one of mine.”
[…]
Him: “Arya, this is a rosemary plant.”
Him: *long pause*
Him: “No, it doesn’t grow roses."

“Theon, when I say ‘space’ I don’t mean you should type the word space, I mean you should hit the space bar."