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i've said it before and i'll say it again: the way y'all talk to and about children on this damn app is mad concerning. and I ain't even just talking about sexual content, I mean in general. y'all talk to kids on the internet like they're tiny adults and it's weird as fuck.
kids/teenagers can and will "fuck up". they might say something they don't know is a slur, or compare two identities/injustices/whatever that shouldn't be compared, or try and reclaim a term that's not theirs to reclaim. these things will happen, and they are harmful.
guess what! kids don't know everything!!! they haven't read theory. they don't know everything about the history of every marginalized identity. they're busy being fucking teenagers, figuring out basic stuff about who they are. that's exactly what they should be doing.
when a 14 year old who identifies as bisexual/pansexual/etc says the d-slur cuz they think it's theirs to reclaim, don't immediately write them off as someone who's irreparably lesbophobic and a shitty person. they're 14.
you don't know what resources and information they have access to. you don't have to calmly explain the whole history of the word to them. maybe just send them a helpful link. but don't fix your grown ass to yell at them on the internet. that's weird as shit.
when a kid says something ableist or calls someone the r slur or RTs a meme making fun of autistic people, don't tweet at them in all caps with a bunch of big words they don't know. they're probably in fucking middle school and heard those words from their classmates or family.
chill out&ask: "how can I make this person understand that what they did was harmful?" cuz it seems like most of y'all are just asking "how can I make this person feel shitty?" and, surprise: making someone feel shitty doesn't make them learn how to not commit harm in the future.
teenagers are gonna be defensive. they might not listen to you at first, or the 2nd time, or the 3rd time. is it annoying/frustrating/harmful? definitely. but guess what: that's what teenagers do. they were defensive before the internet, and they will continue to do it online.
y'all seem to think that the only way to hold people accountable is to curse them out. are there harmful people who should be cursed out? absolutely. is that how a grown ass adult should be talking to a 15 year old on twitter? in most cases, absolutely the fuck not.
anger and accountability are not interchangeable. accountability can include anger, but it is not solely or always anger.
basically my entire life has been on social media since I made a tumblr when I was 12. I was that kid on the internet so adults were talking to about anything and everything like I was their friend, and looking back, that shit was weird as hell.
i'm sure I said a lot of harmful shit that I can't even remember. I don't wanna imagine what's gonna happen if I become a well-known writer or something and y'all go searching through my tumblr or twitter to find shit I posted when I was 14 or 15 or 16.
monoracial (Black), almost all-Christian suburbs of atlanta. I didn't have access to public transit or money to get my own car to take me into the city where it was more diverse. my household was strict, very Christian, and very Jamaican.
and all I knew was that I was a weird girl who wished on dandelions to be a boy and sometimes I wanted to die. I didn't know yet that I was queer and gender non-conforming and mentally ill and a bunch of other things.
I didn't have that language or know that there were other people with similar experiences as me. all I knew was my personal experience and the relatively monolithic experience of what was immediately around me.
and i'm not saying y'all have to sympathize with privileged kids, but remember that no matter how much or how little privilege you have, every 11-17 year old shares at least one struggle: trying to figure out who the fuck they are.
hold them accountable, but don't act like they're the worst people in the world and that they'll never learn or be "good people". they're fucking kids.
TL;DR children on the internet are not just miniature adults and they aren't gonna understand shit the same way you do. you don't know their circumstances and what information they do or don't have access to. give them a fucking break.
