so something i& #39;ve been thinking about a lot especially this year is how exactly mental health conditions show up on your day-to-day moods. i& #39;ve struggled with anxiety and depression pretty much consistently since i was 14/15, but that doesn& #39;t mean every day since 2014 has sucked

i& #39;ve been tracking my mood daily since 2018, and to this day i get this strange imposter syndrome when i look at how many days i mark as good/happy days when i know i& #39;ve been struggling the whole time. it& #39;s like, am i really hurt enough if i& #39;m having so many "good" days?

i objectively know that that is BS and that mental illness is not a freaking competition. but when you& #39;re ill, you expect to consistently see the effect of it in front of you. so what makes it so that i have these good days? how do i dictate it in my mind?

does a good day mean i had less anxiety than normally? or does it mean i enjoyed myself despite what was going on in my head? do more good days mean i& #39;m getting better or that i& #39;m just doing nicer things while still struggling? how much weight does my mental health have on this?

there really isn& #39;t much of a point to this thread, i just think about this a lot and definitely don& #39;t have any answers to this. idk if this even makes any sense and i doubt anyone read this whole thing but if someone did then thanks for taking in my brain dump lmao