Is reading my messages between me and my eighth grade boyfriend from 2009 to help legitimize my memoir narrative worth the extreme secondhand embarrassment

I looked up one thing in Facebook messenger and learned that I signed all my messages with https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎵" title="Musical note" aria-label="Emoji: Musical note">Rachaelhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎵" title="Musical note" aria-label="Emoji: Musical note"> so I’m already horribly embarrassed

I also sent him extremely long, dramatic poems when he wouldn’t message me for like three days