"The everyday efforts we make to prevent kids’ distress—minimizing things that worry them or scare them, assisting with difficult tasks rather than letting them struggle—may not help them manage it in the long term." https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/05/childhood-in-an-anxious-age/609079/

When I got pregnant, I asked friends who were parents what they would've done differently if they could start over. They told me:
1. Embrace sleep training
2. Make kids sit at table through dinner
3. Never walk toddlers around at restaurants
4. Never make separate meals for kids

Drawing hard boundaries with kids & watching them HATE those rules basically sucks, but it trains you & your kids to accept structure & prevents you & your kids from, essentially, torturing each other by going around in circles, moving goal posts, agonizing over simple stuff.

Disclaimer: None of these rules applies neatly to every kid/ kids with behavioral issues and I'm not the greatest parent, no sir no sir, BUT this stuff paid off for us and informed the big picture of how the kids adapted/ accepted limits. OK bye!

Those rules also force you to look your kid in the eyes and say, "No. That's not how we do it." Harder than it sounds. When you AND your kids know that there are some things you're not going to budge on, it helps. It is, dare I say, more relaxing for EVERYONE.