1./ Intimacy in the Time of Corona

Na wa oh! Which kind of problem was this? Chioma wondered. How could they extend this lockdown? Didn’t these people consider others? Did they even wonder how people were coping?

2./ Chioma was sitting out on the veranda of the self contained flat she lived in with her husband. She was idly going through her Whatsapp and looking at all the skits and jokes about wives rejoicing at the presence of their husbands at home during the lockdown.

3./ The thing ‘just funny her’ sha. She looked at the group chat from her church women’s group; a sceptical smile crossed her face. Some of them were saying how happy they were that at last, their husbands were staying at home; that they were ‘getting action’ in the other room,

4./ this one, that one. She just laugh inside her sha. She nor like to talk oh! But she swear down! Many of them dey lie. No be this same marriage wey she marry? Abegi. People just like to dey talk, to ‘feel among’ by force.

5./ Even her friend Chika whom she was very sure that Chika dreaded the presence of her husband because he beat her all the time for the slightest or no provocation was posting that she was so happy that ‘Emy dey house.’ Chioma laughed mirthlessly.
She looked away from her phone,

6./ distracted by the stray chickens scratching about for crumbs and scraps to eat. She envied the stray chickens. At least no one was giving them wahala. Worse to worst, if the lonely cock in the compound tried to mount them,

7./ they could run away or turn around and terrorize it with their strident clucking and it would flee. Would that she could be so lucky.
The heat was just too much. She waved the plastic fan she had received in the goodie bag shared at the wedding they attended last month.

8./ At least, this one was a useful item to her. Not those jotters that people were always sharing these days. How many jotters did one person need? What exactly was she supposed to write inside all those jotters? She shrugged her shoulders.
Not even a slight breeze.

9./ Ordinarily, she would wear tiny shorts and a skimpy top as a nod to the heat. These days, she tried to wear clothes that didn’t offer even a vague suggestion of a sexual come-on. She’d had enough.

Her thoughts were racing. “Biko! What now? See me see trouble!

10./ What kind of problem has this Corona virus brought upon me? This man will kill me in this house.” She thought nostalgically back to the pre-Corona Virus era when her days were taken up with going to her job at the school not far from their flat. It wasn’t a fantastic job.

11./ She was a cross between a nanny and a teacher’s assistant in the crèche. She spent more time wiping noses and bottoms. But at least it paid her something and she didn’t have to ask Charlie for money for everything.

12./ She knew people who would be grateful to have even that lowly job that she was managing. She had a HND in Education. But where was the job nah? She had applied for a teaching position but this was what the Proprietress of the school had offered her.

13./ To be honest, she was grateful; Lagos was a tough city.
She sighed, before this lockdown, her greatest concern was making sure she managed to maintain a semblance of variety in the food she gave Charlie every night when he returned from work.

14./Most nights, he was too tired to disturb her much for sex.
As she continued in her musing, she heard a slight sound behind her& looked anxiously over her shoulder.Thank God. It was nothing. Probably Charlie dropped something.She was worried he was coming out in search of her.

15./ She put the fan down and looked glumly about her. Other people were milling about the small compound either washing or just hanging about. She wondered as she looked at them if her problem was unique. It was unlikely.

16./ She was certain that at least some of the other women felt the same way she did.
She don tire abeg. The wahala was too much. Was she the only married woman? She didn’t know what she had been enjoying back then.

17./ He was often too tired most nights and at weekends between watching football at the viewing centre and visiting relations, he didn’t have her time so much. Maybe once a night at the weekends. Now with the Corona virus lockdown,

18./ he was fully at home because his company’s business fell into the non-essential category and the staff was asked to stay-at-home. Since this lockdown, she hadn’t known rest. Morning, afternoon, night. All the time sex! Sex!! Sex!!!

19./ At first she thought it was initial excitement due to the novelty of being at home and having so much free time on his hands. Omo! They were now entering part 2 of the lockdown and his appetite wasn’t abating. Haba!
If only the sex was good, she would understand.

20./ But he was only interested in his own pleasure. He didn’t care whether the thing was sweeting her or not. He would just be pumping her like tyre. Biko her body was paining her. Was she food? Didn’t he even get tired? To make matters worse, heat everywhere.

21./ NEPA rarely gave them ‘light.’ So upon this heat, somebody would just be ‘climbing her anyhow.’ She shook her head. Na wa for marriage and submission! She wondered if Charlie ever thought about their sex life and whether she enjoyed it. For where?

22./ His mind nor dey even go that side. All his own was; ‘Baby open. Let’s romance.’ Some days it was difficult to remember why she had said yes to him.
Her thoughts wandered nostalgically to her boyfriend back in school. Ah! Chuma knew how to please a woman! O gini di!

23./ (What are you saying!) A salacious smile escaped from her as memories rushed through her mind. His penis was average size but damn! Chuma bu “onye olu” (a workerman). If it was Chuma that was doing this thing Charlie was doing . . . Ahn! Ahn!

24./ She would have been the one begging him for more. But Charlie! Mba nu! His something was so big that each time she could swear she felt her untested womb shifting and upon all, “o maro olu.” (He couldn’t please a woman). God save her. Please let this lock down just end.

Biko if it was like this, let him go and visit ndi per hour (prostitutes) that were doing it as a job and not for pleasure. This was getting too much and she’d had enough.

THE END