Having recently tried Weetabix for the first time, I hereby offer them some free ad copy:

Weetabix: Fish food, but for people!

Be whelmed by Weetabix!

Weetabix: Foodlike!

Ever wonder what it's like to be a termite? Eat Weetabix!

Weetabix: Every now and then I fall apart.

Weetabix: Making four ingredients taste like zero ingredients since 1932.

Weetabix: If it's any consolation, we're not sure why you're still eating us, either.