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Some of y’all really struggle with listening to ur friends and its so frustrating! If I come to u with something that’s upsetting me, your first instinct shouldn’t be to.... defend yourself ..... or worse.... attack 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face"> like bro just listen 2 what i’m saying. This is gona b a rant
For example, I said: “the fact that u only reply to me after hours, and then barely acknowledge what I’ve said so we can move on to what u wanna talk about, makes me feel insignificant”
To which THEY responded:
A.) this makes me feel like replying to u is an obligation
B.) all we do is talk about you and I never complain
C.) if I barely acknowledge it, that’s bc that’s all I have to say
A.) this makes me feel like replying to u is an obligation
B.) all we do is talk about you and I never complain
C.) if I barely acknowledge it, that’s bc that’s all I have to say
First of all, replying to ur friends.... kind of IS an obligation? Its part of being a friend. Like obvs if u have other things going on, GO DO THAT, i don’t need to be your first priority. But being friends means I am a priority in SOME form, right?
Like idk.... i reply to my friends as soon as I can, unless i genuinely forget, bc they.... matter to me? Idk. It is what it is, moving on 2 the next point
Saying “all we do is talk about you” really just confirms that you don’t care and you have noticed and .... you don’t want to talk about me? And you’d rather b talking about yourself? And that IS complaining ma’am
Once u say something like that to me, i’m never going to be able to talk about myself and feel heard again. I will always feel like a burden in SOME form, bc you’ve made it clear that you really don’t want to hear about me lol. Makes it clear that I’m some burden
And adding “that’s all I have to say” again just reiterates how uninterested you are in my life. Not a nice feeling, not something u can bounce back from!
Now in the past I would have shot back something like “do u think I give a fuck about ur shitty cooking videos you spam me with?” Or “you send me 500 fucking videos a day about ur stupid fucking candle and I honestly could not give LESS of a fuck”
But! That would not be true (i guess). Bc even if I’m not excited about that 400th candle video.... i find a way to be excited. Bc that’s my friend, and if they’re excited, I will do my best to be excited for them. And if I shot that shit back, it would make THEM
Feel like I don’t care about the things that matter to them.
Anyway I guess the point of this rant is — seperate yourself from ur ego. I know i’m not perfect, but when people tell me that I’m upsetting them, I honestly do my best to hear them and fix that and grow https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥴" title="Woozy face" aria-label="Emoji: Woozy face">
And its worth noting: I make allot of fucking mistakes in friendships. I have truly been awful! But taking responsibility for that and doing ur best to change it makes your friends feel heard! And that’s what matters!
Because being heard is what makes a good friendship! And being undermined is what makes it toxic. Thanks 4 attending my ted talk.
