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HOT TAKE: maybe your daughter isn't strategically using you for your chauffeur service, maybe she has some sort of REAL ISSUE with driving. Like IDK anxiety which I know know is a big part of my desire not to drive!
Sure make her manage her own transport - no parent should feel obligated to transport their adult kid if they can do it in their own. But assuming she is gaming you for the cost savings is...probably not it.
She failed her test 4 times - so maybe she feels like she's not a good driver. And as EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER WILL TELL YOU, unsolicited, you get better with more practice - but if you're not a good driver, that can feel like putting yourself & others at risk to get "practice."
I want us to have a less car dependent society for a LOT of reasons but at a personal level, driving is a real struggle. As a teen dealing with depression & anxiety, I couldn't envision getting behind the wheel with my dad without also seeing us in an accident killing us both.
Now I have a kid! So that's my worry instead! I wish I had fixed this more in my 20s, but my anxiety just kept pushing it off. I CAN drive but I haven't done so in several years. It will probably bite me in the ass someday but for now, it's much better for me.
So, Dear Abby, consider that this 20yo isn't just some kind of moocher but instead has very real concerns about getting behind the wheel when cars are a leading cause of American death & injury. Shaming someone ain't gonna work here- just ask my parents.
