This man reaching out to me has triggered some wounds I really thought I was healed from completely. I started ugly crying watching Cadillac records last night
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And itās not like Iām holding onto resentment per say. Itās more. I see that a lot of people from my past have moved on. Completely. Getting the things that I want, or feel like I deserved.
Itās. How come these people who have treated my heart like a chew toy. Get to enjoy the beauty of life before I get to ? Not saying Iāve been perfect. Nobody is. Or that I donāt want them to have/experience these things. No. I am genuinely happy for them.
I lowkey just came to the revaluation that, although I feel like Iāve been stagnant physically. Iāve gone on the journey I feel that matters the most for me. Of healing & self discovery. Awakening spiritually.
I went through these trials and tribulations, so that I can truly appreciate and find beauty in everything. Truly appreciate when I do get the family, the cars, the propertyās, the businesses.
I wonāt look for the satisfaction in worldly/material things because I have already found it within myself. Iāve found my passions. Iāve opened my heart to receive unconditional love from myself & my creator.
Therefore opening my heart to receive unconditional love from external sources as well. The wounded healer. I can help guide & train warriors to go through their own battles because Iāve felt like Iāve been @ war all my life. That is apart of my purpose.
I know this thread was everywhere. I kinda just talked myself through a tower moment. All this to say. Embrace the pain. Feel your feelings. Heal. Itās shaping you for your future. Express gratitude even when things seem bleak. Everything has a meaning/ purpose. Especially pain.