I can't actually think about my own life or any experiences in my life without being overwhelmed by sadness
Even happy experiences, even stuff I'm grateful for
I'm so sick of sadness being the gravity of my emotions and thoughts 1/

I know there are many things I can do against this emotion, right - but the problem is, if I'm doing them 'against this emotion', it means it's still gravity and I'm just fighting it. But that's not the same as making it go away? 2/

And therapy can be great at providing you with new ways of fighting, but what about making it go away? I'm talking about CBT as well as psychoanalysis btw. 3/

Drugs can be great at making it go away actually. Depending on the context (sometimes they make it a billion times worse).
But I don't want to need something external to alter my emotions actually.
Is there no way out of / through this sort of mental illness that can work? 4/

I get the irony of being a psychology student and asking this question, obviously.
But none of this feels like an accute state (mental illness), since none of it is new. It's always been my gravity and I've organized my life around it for as long as I can think back? 5/

And how does psychology offer any cure for feeling existentially inappropriate in life?
Again, I'm not saying this because I'm feeling super-depressed *right now*. I have a crazy lot of ways to cope with it (22 years gave me a lot of time to practice). 6/

I know Twitter won't offer any answers either but I felt like sharing these thoughts.
I also think I might continue this thread at some point so I'm keeping it open. 7/x