tw//

just finished watching ep 12 of tt. before i watch their last ep, i need to let this out. tbh, the first 3 eps was very triggering and too much for me. i was unsure if i should continue the series or move on to watch another bl that's less alarming (at least to me)

although there are scenes that made me kilig, i can't shrug off all the toxic traits. the love/hate relationship i have with this series is so strong. i love to binge-watch, i could've finished it within the first 2 days. in fact i watched the first 6 eps in one night but

i had trouble breathing/sleeping after that so i took a break. there were a lot of stuff going on in each eps, it was my fault for rushing and for thinking i was brave enough. after each ep, i always hoped things will get better in the next one. glad i took a break because

it gave me time to think and understand the characters better. their relationship wasn't ideal, i frowned a lot every time t starts to yell/punches t. as someone who grew up in a similar household, emotional/physical abuse isn't okay & shouldn't be taken lightly/tolerated

i was relieved (for a bit) whenever t admits his faults. both sides did toxic things i.e touching/kissing without consent and hurting the other physically. im glad that i continued watching because there was progress in their relationship. small progress is still progress.

t was ashamed of himself. he was always frustrated and sorry for hitting t. he recognized how awful he is and tried his best to act more mature and not hurt his lover (which was more visible in later episodes) he was lucky enough he found someone who understood him

because if it were me i would've left his ass right then and there lmao okay so um abuse shouldn't be normalized but this series also showed us that people can change and they can do better. so, ayun in the end i actually liked the two. they worked things out.

t's best friend was awful. he was the reason i made this thread. what he did was horrible and i wanted him to go to jail, but i saw the spoiler in this bird app and im upset. he was selfish and a narcissist. he kept insisting he was the only who understood and wouldn't leave t.