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stardew valley characters ranked, a thread
morris, huge cunt, capitalist pig. would be the first to get eaten after the rebellion
hayley, bitchy bimbo, closeted lesbian but also a homophobe, has a gay best friend for no reason other than the fact he& #39;s gay
elliot, annoying, if you married elliot in any playthrough i do not trust you
emily, honestly never really interact with her but she& #39;s just kinda boring
vincent, he may be cute but he has the same head as willne, would love to punt him over a fence or into the ocean
marnie, just kinda lame
grandpa, is dead
pam, alcoholic, hates everything, asshole to penny who is best girl
kent, was a soldier. hope jodi makes popcorn again
geroge, mean old man, can be sweet sometimes, probably a tory
mr qi, looks like jon lennon, probably doesnt bathe
robin, is married to a gay man and she knows it
alex, is gay and hates women, also probably says the n word
harvey, boring, probably supports big pharma
maru, honestly just dont care about her
caroline, who?
clint, huge simp, probably q*non
gus, small dick, makes money off of alcoholics
lewis, mayor of the town but makes no effort to fix the town hall or give linus a house, ashamed of dating marnie
willy, probably racist, also bad name
wizard, smells like smegma
krobus, fucks constantly
marlon, hates slimes, toxic masuclinity
sandy, milf
jodi, married to a war criminal
pierre, cool dad
gunther, hippy
demetrius, nerd, gay, respects women
abigail, big titty goth gf
evelyn, nice old lady, would give anyone a cookie
leah, can make bomb ass sculptures, cottagecore in human form
goku, has superpowers, kamehameha
shane, is a crippling alcoholic but he& #39;s lovely once you get to know him please be nice to him and give him gifts
sebastian, listens to @astralagenda 247, rides a motorbike, is a gamer
penny, literally the sweetest human being ever
dwarf, definitely a chaos god, adorable, resembles a jawa. hey @ConcernedApe was he designed with jawa& #39;s in mind
