People spend way too much time in toxic situations that they don’t realize a lot of their standards when it comes to friendships and partners are born off of that.

Society has normalized toxic behavior in men so much that they’ve forgotten to normalize the humanity of men.

They tell them “a man should not be talking anyhow (communication),
man no suppose soft; dey cry (vulnerability), man suppose take things no too talk about am (dealing with and communicating emotions), man no suppose dey go meet people to talk when them mess up (confrontation).

A man shouldn’t;
But a human should.

A human should be vulnerable, learn how to confront difficult situations, be able to communicate his emotions and deal with them, be able to communicate with other people.

Normalize the humanity of men. The reason why women want men that....

Are ‘Men’ in every description above is because they are used to this toxicity.
Society made it normal.

So when you get a man that is empathetic, vulnerable, wants to communicate, talk about issues, confront things.
You hear things like ‘he’s too soft for a man, he’s not manly’.

‘I like my men to not cry, I want a man who doesn’t eat desserts on dates (this thing will never make sense to me), I want a man who can talk to me with authority, I want someone that can kill’.

Y’all get these men and then years later complain that “my husband isn’t romantic”

“He barely talks to the kids, we don’t have a close family bond, it’s like he’s there but only as a robot, nobody sees him cry, he never shared pain, etc etc”

Is it magic?
You think that after the years of telling him he couldn’t be human and wanting a robot, it suddenly stops?

Is it a switch you can turn off and on when you feel like?

You cannot tell somebody for most of their life to shut up, to never tell you how he feels, to apologize every time without stating their displeasure, to never cry, then be offended when this person listens to you.

You’re toxic and so is he.

Some women are in toxic relationships because of this nonsense.
“I want a man that doesn’t call me everyday”.
THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

Then you date someone who calls once every 7 days and you start saying “I just want your attention”.

To do what with?

“I want a man who doesn’t talk too much”.
Proceeds to date someone who doesn’t communicate and gives you “ok, sure”

Also you: I wish he’d talk more.

Can you see that you’re also the problem?

“My boyfriend doesn’t talk too much. If we have issues all he does is ‘ok I’m sorry’

That you’re with someone who apologizes in every issue without a conversation to address it.

IT’S NOT SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT.

They’ve probably told him that he talks too much before, he’s a nag, likes to drag things out, etc etc.
So for peace to reign he stopped speaking.

All these things are what we term toxic masculinity.

If we don’t stop normalizing it, these men will stay the same way.

I’m creating an emotional intelligence course for Men. If you’d like to unlearn & then learn how to communicate, be open, confront issues; take this class.

Women need to unlearn their own toxicity too. Deal with past trauma so they can learn how to deal with men who communicate, are vulnerable and can confront issues with them.

Praying without taking practical steps that change this thing is not going to solve the problem.

If you want to be able to handle a man who can communicate, be vulnerable, you better deal with your own issues too.

When men say “women aren’t ready for this thing they are asking for with us”, it’s not a lie.

Unless you unlearn you’re not ready for a man who isn’t toxic.