I really wish I'm the oldest child, so I can have some few years to myself, spend money for myself, without having to take responsibilities for anything or my family đŸ€— not to be ungrateful, I just feel like I wanted some more time for me to enjoy my own hardwork
I'm not ready to take care of family matters and having my own hard earned money being used to take care of other people,
I'm so selfish to think about this but what can I do I just envied my sis
Imagine having like 6 years just enjoying your own money, I haven't even fully reached a year and my dad has been throwing me with negativity like "I think the company I'm working is goung to close soon and I will not have any job any more"
I'm the worst child but what can I do?
My sis is already having a family and she didn't work anymore, my bro isn't in a high paying job
I already take care of the house (like foods, electricity, and internet)
I'm basically the only one my dad can rely to
I didn't even know my future, like I'm working freelance right now, it is kinda high paid but I work really hard and it's still kinda unstable, I'm so tired
I'm the youngest child but I take care of everything
2020 is so shitty idk anymore, I have been very stressed the whole 2020
Also despite all my hardwork, my dad still say "she didn't work" to his friend, like I know he said it not in a bad way but it still hurts a lot
Also he once said that I'm an ungrateful child and he said he raised me why am I so ungrateful, he said I'm the worst child, etc

Just for your concern I didn't ask to be born, if I can be unborn I will be so happy to đŸ€—
I'm just so tired of all of this
I'm sorry for this thread Idk where else to say all of this, I can't tell my family, I don't want to bother my friends

Twitter is my run away from reality place so I'm sorry Pensive face

I'll delete the thread once I feel better
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