On Monday, I saw a man hanging from a tree on my way home from work. Like everybody there, I was about to lament his impetuousness when I remembered my circumstances btn June 2018 & April 2019. I hope my story convinces you that suicide is plausible, but not entirely necessary:
I had never been tested as much before. I had just missed out on my graduation & was still smarting from it when my girlfriend of about a decade called it quits. She woke up one day & left. I traveled to Kilifi twice to talk to her. She stopped me at the door each time. August.
I had invested in a spare-parts importation business. One of the other partners was a friend I had known since childhood. Our liaison at the port was the other partner& #39;s uncle. We were young and inexperienced. So we were using his name for the transactions. October.
After the first 2 shipments, he would swindle us out of the business. All the transactions were in his name. Lawyer said legal remonstration was a fool& #39;s errand. There was no proof of contract. I lost my life savings and my friend& #39;s. It was the end of our friendship. November.
December. Trying to minimize impact, looking for a smaller house. I get a call one evening. Papa says results are out. They found a tumor on her. I say can I talk to her. He says, "she doesn& #39;t want to talk to you". My mother was afraid of breaking down. Cried myself to sleep.
Jan. I rush home. I open the door. mom is hiding from me. She finally comes out. Where there had been lustrous hair, I find bald patches. I hug her. Head to my brother& #39;s Simba. I Cry like a kid. In whimpers. I was overwhelmed. She didn& #39;t deserve that.
Feb. I am back in town. I find a smaller house. Move in. Trying to sell the car at half its price. No clients. One Sunday afternoon I am seated alone in the house. I feel wrong. I was ready to go. I& #39;ve never been so lost as I was that day. I was done with life.
I call my sister. Give her the important details. Tell her I& #39;ll be traveling. I head out, I am still debating whether it will be a jump off a building or onto the road. When I see this crippled man behind me. I figure he& #39;s coming to ask for coins. I had none, so I double my pace
He is not relenting, so I let him catch up. But he waltzes past me. And I notice something queer. He was humming to "Malaika nakupenda, malaika": No legs, driving himself, whistling away & enjoying it in the process. I knew I would live. That crippled man saved my life.
And even today, it is not uncommon for me to stare too long at a man in a wheelchair. I am still looking for my savior. I pray that when you are down and out and all seems vain - that you find your own crippled man. Some find him in their dreams, others in their families.
It could be your child, your parents; If there is a slight chance that you can still find happiness living, I suggest you pursue it. I honestly don& #39;t care what happens to me anymore. My existence is not mine alone. I have to live for mom, for pops & for my small bro & nephews.