I spent the first 20 years of my life alone
From my self, my family, from everyone.I remember crying in first grade because I had no friends

I got good at being alone. You have to.But It changes you to be like that.There is a quietness and a distance to it that touches your soul

For the first time last year, I knew what it meant to not be alone.
It was only a moment, a few months, but that was half my life.

And then that moment was gone.

Somehow, in that moment, I forgot everything I knew about how to be alone. The cold was gone. I was alive, for once.

And now... I am alone again. Now I have to remember how to be alone. It& #39;s not hard, like it once was, but it& #39;s painful. It was never painful before.

I& #39;ve done some stupid things since then. I& #39;ve made myself vulnerable in ways I never could have before, and by some miracle I haven& #39;t truly hurt myself by that.

But I could have.

I dont really have anything to end this thread with. I dont have any view point out of this. I don& #39;t have some goal to declare I& #39;m working towards. It doesn& #39;t work like that with this

In a sense, this thread is just another reckless flare from someone who is lost. Pointless hope