Respectfully, the idea that Sayeds cannot marry non-Sayeds is a myth. There is no such rule in Islamic jurisprudence and the criteria for what men should look for in women and vise-versa are rather clear in Islam. People should stick to the rulings of the religious authorities.

As an introduction, Prophet Muhammad (s) says in Bi'hār al-Anwār, v.100, p.372, that if one whose religion and integrity you are satisfied with comes forth for marriage, then accept him, as rejecting him will lead to corruption. He did not mention lineage, popularity, or money.

In fact, the Qur'an says in verse 24:32, {If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty..}. Yes, one should strive to earn and improve their lifestyle. One should not depend on God and do nothing. This is not the reliance God asks of people. This is laziness.

But also, some people's idea of 'improving their way of life' is but a justification for unnecessary extravagance and untamed desire. Imam al-Sādiq (a) says in Tu'haf al-'Uqūl, p.396, "The worldly life is like the water of the sea - the more one drinks, the thirstier they get.."

Another thing is this does not mean poverty is an excuse to reject someone for marriage. The Prophet (s) says in Al-Wasā'il, v.20, p.42, "The one who leaves marriage out of fear of poverty has thought negatively of God.." There is a middle ground - things are not black and white.

From an Islamic perspective, there are characteristics a woman should look for in a man she considers for marriage and characteristics a man should look for in a woman he considers for marriage. For example, a woman should look for a man who possesses the following qualities:

1. Piety - a man who is pious will enjoy the spiritual capacity to offer you a life of purity and growth, rather than a life where sin is practically necessary for emotions to feel alive and flaws are needed for progress. Love is of the essence of God. Connect with Him together.

2. Honesty - a man who is honest is someone whose sincerity can be trusted to discipline his whims, whether they will be expressed through lying, cheating, being careless, or untrue - with himself - about his duty to not harm and belittle you and your dignity as a person.

3. Manners - this is broad, but a woman should care for the man's temper, language, hygiene, patience, and other aspects of human morality. The Qur'an and narrations are filled with lessons on self-awareness, self-discipline and self-purification. Life is nothing without them.

4. Honor - this is a lesson for everyone, but as husbands and fathers, men should know their role in protecting their women, considering them sacred, caring for their sanctity, etc. Many narrations discuss gheera, which is sort of a mixture of honor, vehemence and protectiveness.

There are many other traits, but considering the inclusivity of religious teachings and the guidance Islam offers in matters that pertain to people's journeys towards perfection, one can sum things up and say: look for a man who will not stand between you and the true Beloved.

As for what men should look for in women they consider for marriage: the narrations have also mentioned many traits, some of course more related to the woman's feminine nature because of its centrality in the cycle(s) of life. But here are some general ones men should know:

1. Piety - wives are examples. Women who put God before themselves and their husbands, and moreover, before all affairs of life, enjoy the moral and spiritual potential to not only maintain healthy marriages, but lead social revolutions by setting the tone within their families.

This is why the Prophet (s) said if faith and trustworthiness are rejected in a culture, the result is corruption. What he means is the standards upon which relationships/families are built are then out of order. In 71:27, the Qur'an explains this leads to a misguided society.

Some people tend to misinterpret how religiosity is measured in females. A female who does not wear a 'hijāb is not necessarily irreligious or weak in faith. It does not mean she does not practice either. It means that in this specific regard, her practice needs to improve.

This is not to justify male or female shortcomings, but rather, to emphasize that the essence of the Islamic vision is leading people to guidance, not to heresy; the essence is inclusivity and development, not exclusivity and judgment. The Islamic society is one of growth.

2. Rationality - men should look for women who are rational and understanding. While the female is the primary source of emotion in the male's life, there should be balance. Men also need women to be sound and composed so they can reason with one another - and vise-versa.

3. Simplicity - women being easygoing is a sign of power and maturity, which are needed for men to perform without despair. At the same time, a woman's power and maturity - when used positively - can shape the personalities of her children, and such long-term effects are vital.

There are other traits, as well. But finally, just a quick note about looks: taking preferences of appearance into consideration is not impermissible. In fact, it is rather essential so long as it is not at the expense of one's faith. There are narrations that discuss beauty.

And appeal to that which beholds the means to one's self-perfection is part of our innate nature as human beings. One should be attracted to the other - just not if this means faith and religion will be compromised. The goal of loving is to ascend, not to descend.