4.13.2020

you’re scared of yourself
people who act like you
it scares you. you can’t handle it. you struggle to embrace it. it overwhelms you. why?

she reflects me in a way that’s scary. i’m scared of myself. the power, the assurance, the energy is scary. it’s the confidence, the reassurance, the love, the energy. it’s a lot. i feel pain. i want to reserve myself. i want to run. i want to hide. i want to cry. i’m overwhelmed

i wanted someone just like me. i just asked three days ago. well here we are. here she is.

i’m crying because i chose me. closed a cycle. but now i’m finding me. i thought choosing myself was hard and painful? well, finding me is the scariest, most daunting adventure ever.

i cry because i’m scared of the power. they say my energy is of the sun. that’s why i am the divine sol goddess. but
the Sun is overwhelming. not to be touched, gotten close to or even stared at. because it’s just that powerful. it’s to be observed from a distance.

that’s what i’d like to do with her but in observing her from a distance i shy away from my same energy. how do i grow into empowerment if i shy away from the power of others? i guess we will wait & see. because it’s only begun and i feel fear just keeping her near.