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here’s the thing. i’ve always wanted to live abroad just because i love traveling & exploring other cultures, all that jazz. and i’m obsessed with the concept of becoming an intellectual polyglot who spends her days lounging in european cafes, reading contemporary philosophy
but i never wanted to feel like i HAD to leave my home. like, that it’d be a matter of escaping the chaos before the total storm
& i guess with where our current national politics are at, where we as voters have to make the decision between either voting for a far-right rapist or a moderate-left rapist, i’m just...i don’t think i’ve ever felt this insignificant before.
like, i’ve never felt this much that my voice truly doesn’t matter. not in regards to the federal government anyways — maybe i can make a difference locally and statewide (and god knows i’m going to try at this point), but on the big scale? i’ve never felt this...hopeless.
what’s a democracy without hope? hope for change? hope for progress? hope for improvement? what’s the point in me supposedly having a voice in my government if those same officials truly don’t care what i have to say?
i’m jaded, and i’m exhausted, and i feel hopeless. and i hate that i feel this way. this is my HOME. i want to have a say in how things go, to implement the changes that will allow for this to feel like a safe & accepting home. i want my home to always feel like home.
anyways. i’m normally the person that’s always like “believe in the change!” so i hate that i feel so stuck. that i feel like this NATION is so stuck.
there wasn’t really much of a point to this thread, i just needed to get some feelings out. i typically don’t like to have negative energy like this on my account but...yeah. that’s all. some 1 am thoughts for you all.
