Tweeting Calum a dad joke once a day until he follows me: A Thread

@Calum5SOS Whats the biggest city in the world? dublin. cause its always doub-lin

I'll do a couple more to get the thread started, @Calum5SOS How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!

@Calum5SOS what do u call a fake noodle? an IMPASTA

@Calum5SOS why are dogs bad storytellers? because they only have one tale.

@Calum5SOS due to quarantine, i can only tell inside jokes!

@Calum5SOS I wanted to tell you my chemistry joke.... but i was afraid id get the wrong reaction

@Calum5SOS what do you call two witches sharing an apartment? BROOM-mates

@Calum5SOS where did @Michael5SOS get his DJ information?
The WIKI WIKI

@Calum5SOS whats it called when you share fruit snacks?
the redistribution of welchs

@Calum5SOS Pun enters a room and kills 10 people.
pun in, ten dead

@Calum5SOS what's the most groundbreaking invention of all time?
the shovel

@Calum5SOS oh you thought the campfire was over?
just wait theres s'more

@Calum5SOS what did the one nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
imma cashew

@Calum5SOS two fish swim into a concrete wall.

one fish turns to the other and says “Dam.”

@Calum5SOS Why’s it so hard to find a parking spot at a space station? Cause they’re outer space.

@Calum5SOS what does a nosey pepper do? it gets jalapeno business!

@Calum5SOS why do crabs never give to charity? because they're shellfish

@Calum5SOS what do zombie vegetarians eat?
GRAAAAIIINSSS