one day we will have to talk about how the taboo of sex and dating in desi and muslim communities leaves women vulnerable to unsafe situations. it leads to men abusing and assaulting women. it leads to women being silenced; if they speak out, they’re blamed and slut shamed.

men aren’t taught consent in the community. they aren’t taught anything about sex and dating other than not to do it before marriage. this is lazy and leads to sexual violence.

CW: SA. women are already silenced for any thing but my heart breaks thinking of all the Muslim women who have been sexually assaulted and suffer in silence, hiding it from their families because of stigma. bc the assault will be blamed on them for “being in that situation”.

if a girl tells her family they might take away her “privileges” of going out. the assault will be blamed on her. some might even pressure her into marriage bc she’s “tainted”. how many Muslim girls have heard from their parents “I trust you, don’t make me regret trusting you”.

i also know pakistani women who tell me they didn’t trust desi women growing up because they were afraid they’d be shamed. that’s part of it too. women shaming women for rebelling, dating. we have no fucking openness about these topics.

I try to befriend younger pakistani girls in the community and be their big sister and a safe space and I urge others to do this too. talk about mental health with them. ask them about their social lives and don’t shame them. be the big sister you never had and always needed.