Dirty confessions: one time I had a dream I fucked an Asian and I woke up and cooked ramen noodles. I put my finger in the bowl so I could get an idea of what that pussy felt like. No cap

When me and my brother were little we had to take showers together and one day I ain’t wanna take a shower w him but my momma yelled at me so when we got in the bathroom I made him lick the doo-doo stains in his drawshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

One time I was going so hard beating my meat I forgot to time the nut and when I bussed the nut almost flew in my eye. I swear that was the most traumatic experience of my life. I didn’t beat my meat for 4 months after that.

One time when I worked at Stone Mountain I had to shit really bad cus we just had pizza but I couldn’t go nowhere so I stood by my cart and farted while no one was around and then a kid walked up .5 seconds later and said I was the worst smelling worker at the parkhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">