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I was crawling across the desert with no food or water for three days. Suddenly, a restaurant! I was saved! And just my luck, I had a wallet full of cash! Famished, I frantically began scanning the menu. But to my dismay, I couldn't find anything I like.
Well, that's not entirely true. There were a few things I like. In fact, most of the menu was filled with things I like. But that's not the point! The point is, this wasn't the restaurant I wanted to go to!
So I did the only sensible thing — I burned the restaurant to the ground and began crawling back through the desert the way I came.
And that is why I, a progressive leftist, will refuse to vote for Joe Biden.
